Nine

                                    

                                          
A/N: There is a triggering part below that is marked.
-Willow-
"Lo. I need you to look at me." I looked across the booth at Noah, feeling more tears leave my eyes. They were falling like a waterfall at this point and I'm grateful it was just the workers who seemed to be in the kitchen and us in the restaurant at the moment. 
"Is he forcing you?" It fell from his lips and slapped me across the face hard. It was the first time I had thought of it that way. Did Alex force me? The times I've said no, he begs until I just give in. But he's not forcing me to do it.. right? 
I can't even think for myself anymore, I don't know what to think or to believe. I looked down at the table, seeing tears had fallen on it. They were big drops with black mixed in. I didn't think I had anymore makeup on at this point. I must look like a drowned rat. 
I could hear Noah calling my name as I turned my head to the glass window overlooking the parking lot and trying to fix my makeup. 
"Willow. Answer the question." I turned my head back to Noah, shaking my head. 
"I don't know." I sputtered out, I watched his eyebrows furrow in confusion. 
"God he's got you all fucked up in the head doesn't he? Lo. What part don't you know? When you say no, does he stop?" I stared at Noah, my eyes betraying me as more tears fell down my face. 
Noah's face mimicked mine, his eyes full of tears but none had spilled over. I knew when I told him the truth, things would change. Alex would kill me if things changed. 
As I sat there I realized I didn't care what Alex thought. Fuck him. He's abused me, he's cheated on me. Called me every name under the sun, he's broken me mentally, emotionally and somewhat physically. 
I let the tears fall as I shook my head no finally. Watching tears fall from Noah's eyes as his hands gripped the table in his hands. 
"If I say no or I'm not feeling it... he just begs and guilts me into giving in usually. There was only one time he forced me to do anything, but I don't think he meant it that way. " I vomited out. My words seeming to try and defend Alex for his faults, trying to find the good in him but as I'm searching for good memories but as I look into Noah's eyes luring me to be truthfully I realize I finally have to face my worst moment with Alex. 
-Flashback, 1 year and triggering- 
"Willow! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! It was an accident!" Alex stormed after me, as I ran through our house on my way to our bedroom. 
"Ugh! What did you trip and land in her pussy?! Alex I could NEVER cheated on you. EVER! How could you do this to me?!" I cried out, turning around to face him. 
He scoffed as he stopped in front of me, looking down at me. 
"Maybe if you weren't always so sad about your friends leaving you and actually let me fuck you once in awhile, I wouldn't have to fall into someone else's pussy!" He yelled, causing me to slap him across his face for speaking to me that way and restart towards our room where I grabbed my suitcase and started throwing my shit into it. 
"Where the fuck do you think you're going?!" He stormed up to my suitcase and started throwing things out of it as I would pick them up and put them back in. I don't care about the fucking clothes, I'll buy more. But I need to leave, nobody disrespects or treats me like this. 
"I'm going to California." I spit out, pushing as much in the suitcase and zipping it up. Pulling it onto the floor and starting to roll it behind me. 
"Of course! Cause what princess wants she gets right?!We get an an argument and you run to Noah and Nick?! They don't want you there! You'd be there if they did! You're delusional!" I ignored him, there was no way he was going to make me feel like my boys didn't want me around. If there is one thing I will always be confident about, it's the friendship I have with them.