Chapter Twenty Two

                                    

                                          
Photo: Grand Duchess Maria Romanov, 1907
June 1913
Olga crawled out the cabinet she was hiding it, she was 5'5 so she could fit perfectly inside. She got up and straightened out her creased dress. "Do you know where Tatiana is?" Cian asked her. "I can not tell anyone, it's against the rules!" Olga giggled. "This is urgent, Olishka. This is not a laughing matter." Maria said, Olga looked taken back at this and gave her a glare. She turned back to lay her eyes on the three of us standing next to each other. "We all have to talk to Tatiana." I patted Cian and Kikis back.
"Why do you need to speak with Tanechka?" Olga questioned. "Actually, we need to talk to both of you.. privately." I corrected myself quickly. Olga raised one of her eyebrows at us. "Follow me, quickly." Olga marched off, like a soldier in war. Haha, I'm foreshadowing this and it's only 1913 (stop breaking the fucking fourth wall! Okay, carrying on..) Anastasia quickly followed while me, Marie, Cian and Kiki were behind. Maria turned to us. "What are you planning on asking them?" Maria asked, speed walking along side the three. "Ask if they knew, and if they did ask why I didn't know." I replied.
Maria just quietly listened, along with Cian and Kiki as I rambled about my frustrations. I never really got to know or to speak to Marie when I was here, I suppose Cian and Kiki were used to my rambling rampages. I regret not talking to Maria, she's such a good listener like Cian and as well extremely polite like Kiki. She would give out her honest opinion on things, like Cian, and it could change my opinion on things.
"Just forgive them for not telling you, Astrid, Mama and Papa must have a good reason not to tell you. I would recommend talking to Father Grigori or Cian, they give out good advice." Maria said. I gave her a weird look. "I always talk to Cian, and he needs a break and I would never trust that lying scumbag named Rasputin, he deserves NOTHING. Meaning he deserves to know nothing," I said, Maria looked at me shocked. Little Anastasia quickly called out from down the hall, "I found her!"
My head twisted to the direction of Anya's energetic voice. The hallway was empty, i analysed the hallways. I heard her scream again, "In the infirmary!" Maria, Cian and Kiki lead me to the nearest door,and stood in there with the Big Pair and Anastasia. Tatiana was straightening out her crooked dress, her hair looked odd. Like it was slanted in a way. Olga noticed this too, "Tania. Your hair is slanted." Olga told her.
Tatiana straightened her hair back into place. "Does it look normal now?" Tatiana asked, worriedly. Olishka nodded her head and Tania looked relieved while I was standing in utter shock. "What is wrong with your hair, Tatianochka?" I asked. "You didn't tell her?" Nastya asked. Even Cian and Kiki looked like they knew, Tatianochka sent Anastasia a glare. "No, I didn't. Since Ashka, Cian and Kimi need to talk to us, how about you go find Alexei since he needs to be found." Tatiana said. 
Anastasia just shrugged and began leaving the room, Maria stood in place. "Mashka, why aren't you going?" Olga asked, I looked at Maria as she looked at me. Cian stepped forward. "She needs to be here too, just send shvibzik alone." He ordered. Olga looked into the hallway but it seemed she was long gone. 
Olga shut the doors and the six of us sat on the couches, Tatiana started the conversation. "I got ill with Typhoid fever in February. And I had to cut my hair as a result." She took her wig off, showing her short buzz cut hair. My eyes widened. "Is this why Grandmama and Auntie Olga left Denmark in February? Is this why Auntie Olga stayed in Russia for a few weeks before returning back to Denmark?" I knew something was fishy when Tatianochka had her hair up too early, it was a couple days before her birthday.
Cian patted my back. "Ná bíodh imní ort, Astrid." He said. Tatiana stayed silent before nodding her head, yes to each of the questions I asked her. "Why didn't you tell me?" I asked. "Because Papa and Mama ordered us not to." Tatiana quickly muttered. Cian stared at Tatiana. Angrily? Yeah. I sat silently and snapped at her. "Exactly how you didn't tell me that the public doesn't know that I'm the third daughter of the Czar, Czar Nicholas. Nicholas the Bloody as they call him." Tatiana and Olga's eyes widened. "Where did you hear this from? How have you heard?" Olga muttered, in utter shock.
"Everyone finds out secrets eventually." Cian spat. Everyone stayed silent until Caoimhe whipped her head up. "So you knew and didn't think to say ANYTHING at all?" She demanded.
"No! It's not like that. It is just that Mama told us not to refer to Ashka as our sister in public, in front of others. The little pair, if you or Nastas referred to Ashka as Astrid Nikolaevna it was shrugged off because everyone thought you were very close with them, despite being distant cousins. They assumed they saw you as a sister instead." Tatiana explained.
"Did I know.. before the incident?" I asked. I had just about managed to choke it out of my system. "No, you were never supposed to find out." Olga looked down to the floor, maybe ashamed in herself. I took a deep breath and then burst into tears, tears ran down my face. I kept my state in my hands and on the floor. I didn't want to look at any of them, I felt guilty stares from the big pair and sympathetic ones from Maria, Cian and Kiki. Cian moved closer and closer and began rubbing my back, each time I nearly choked on a cry, he'd pat my back so I wouldn't.
I hugged him as he ruffled my hair. He did this to calm Caoimhe down. "Astrid, I-" Cian shot Daggers into Tatiana. "You have done enough damage for today, Tatiana Nikolaevna, leave her be. You are lucky I will not tell her mother she is upset and it is your fault unless Astrid wants me to. Now leave!" Cian hissed. The big pair left as my sobs echoed throughout the palace hallways. Cian didn't shout, he just sat there patting my back and rubbing my head to make me feel better.
"Go in, count to ten and breathe out while counting to ten." He said. And I listened.