Stay With Me

                                    

                                          
2/2
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Driving is one of the uncommon things Haein enjoyed doing along with staying at home and occasionally being alone. When he and Jisoo started going out, they usually spend evenings driving around. For her,  she savored the limited time they had together. For him, it felt closer to what he wanted to do with her, - run away. He wanted to run away with her - run away from the status, from the watchful eyes of the media and the rabid fans. He wanted to run away so that he and Jisoo can stop living life on borrowed time.
A complete lack of warning signs.
There were no obvious, impending signs that could have prepared him for the end. Early on, they knew they couldn't be out in the open about their relationship given their jobs and status, and for a time it worked. Whatever it is between us, stays between us, they used to say. No one knew the real deal except the two of them, and it was working. Everything seemed fine.
Until it wasn't. 
Looking back, now Haein knew why Jisoo grew less and less affectionate. At first, he thought that she was just keeping it under control. She is good at keeping her feelings to herself, so for him, it wasn't ringing any alarm bells. It didn't help that her world tour shoved oceans between them. He offered to show up in any of the Europe dates but she blatantly refused. 
"You know you can't just show up like that, oppa!" Jisoo said in one of their countless video calls. He watched, smiling, as she started taking off her makeup after another show. "Besides, aren't you busy filming?"
"I can, and will drop anything for you."
Jisoo bit down a smile and stopped what she was doing to look at her screen. "Oppa, we can't risk it. You know that, right?"
Had he known that the end was in sight, he would have dropped everything and flown halfway across the world for her. Fuck the media. Fuck the management. He just wants her to be happy. He just wants her.
Countless nights he spent going back and forth, thinking about what he could have done better, or could have done more. But the more he thought about it, the worse he felt. And the dread and regret just would not leave him.
"Haein-ssi, the light's green now." 
His manager's voice and the honks of the cars outside shook him out of his thoughts. Immediately, he released the emergency break and resumed driving. Haein bit his lower lip hard to temper his anger, realizing now that he shouldn't have volunteer to drive after the Dior event. 
"I'm sorry, Haein." Jaeyong started, dropping the honorifics to let Haein know that he's speaking now as a friend, and not as his manager. "I shouldn't have insisted on going today."
Haein's forehead creased as the scene earlier played in his mind yet again. After months of not seeing each other, after months of no contact whatsoever, he suddenly found himself standing beside her. Jisoo looked radiant, happy, even. Not that he was expecting her to share the downcast disposition he basks in, but it looked like she didn't even grieve.
Everything he wanted to say to her during those months suddenly got stuck in his throat when their eyes met and she flashed him a small smile. Maybe he really was made to be an actor, because that calm demeanor he maintained throughout the event was just a mask to hide his anguish.
"Too late." He said through gritted teeth as the weight of realization crush his chest, "I'm too late."
"I already lost her, Jaeyong. There's nothing more I could do."