Dinner

                                    

                                          
(Y/n's) pov
I emerged from the shower, steaming hot and tired. "Jesus, how is scubing so rigorous!" I groaned, walking to the mirror and looking at myself. I thought about dinner and what I would wear. I couldn't even began to think of what I'd say. 
I sweat just thinking of making conversations, how do I bring myself to speak? 
I picked out a black mesh shirt, and bright blue coveralls. I wanted to hide, seeing my sisters after walking out on them was suddenly very embarrassing. I felt...mean.
I put on a belt and some pants chains. With my boots it completes my look. I slipped black obsidian, and smokey quartz into my pockets. 
.
Deep breathes.
We walked down the block from where we parted to reach my sisters apartment. The brownstone building was gorgeous and tall, the large staircases made me feel small. Another thing was walking behind my parents, even at 19 I felt more like a child than ever.
Still bickering and obeying, still contouring life the their needs. Walking in their shadow, in everyone's shadow...too afraid to step into the light. 
I was pulled from my thoughts to face my sisters for the first time since my outburst. I was in the living room sitting down. I had drifted long enough to sit down, and my sisters sat across from me. Silently they waited for me to speak. "Taurie, Lil, I'm really sorry for running off on our time together. I-" I begin to explain but was cut off. "Mm don't apologize. I was wrong to let Ray talk to you like that." Taurus spoke.
"And given your history, he should have been somewhere else." Lilith added. I shook my head, "Thank you for that lil, but I do want to actually be better to you guys. I can't run from conflict if it keeps me away from you two." I spoke. 
"Than let's do that. I'm tired of not seeing you." Lilith sassed. Just as I was about to speak dad walked in, he leaned on the back of the couch with one hand and swelled a glass of wine in the other. "When are we going to eat, girls?" He asked. "Dinners almost ready, I have cheese and fruit out to put you on." Taurus said. 
She waved dad to the kitchen. Mom appears after him, "Ooh, what type of wine?" She asked following him into the kitchen. We all giggled, looking at how they went for the cheese bored. "We are dining fancy tonight, my love." Dad fakes a posh accent while feeding mom a grape. 
The twins busted out laughing, and I looked at them all. Giggling myself, warm from the sight. I sank into the couch and sighed. 
"Hey..." I heard from the hall, I looked up to see Ray's timid face. He loomed in the soft light of the hallway and as he swung the corner he sank into the couch next to me. "Hey," I sat up. "So, how are you?" He didn't look at me, he stared right past me. "I'm okay, I didn't die." I answered. I wasn't sure how to tell Ray I was pissed. "Nor I, but I did reflect a lot. And well..." Ray stopped, looking up into the kitchen. The house was quiet, my sisters managed to slip away and I could tell they were around the corner listening.
He gave me an almost apologetic look, and I shrugged. "Should we go." He asked. "Yes, let's do that." I agreed.
Instead of going to the stoop, I followed Ray over to a window out of the bathroom and we sat on the fire escape. Ray lit a cigarette, leaning on the stairs and sighing. "Is it painful to talk to me?" He seemed pained by his apologies. "Is it a burden to speak with me now. I thought you wanted me to open up-" I started, "Shut up (Y/n), don't overthink. I'm stressing because I'm tired." Ray took a long drag and blew smoke between us. 
"Look, I really am sorry, for everything. Especially for yesterday, I shouldn't have spoken to you like that." He finally looked at me, his head was bare of its flowers. "I should have been better to you in school, more understanding maybe." He admitted and he seemed to hug himself more with each word. "I talked behind you back, I pushed you away, I resented you...I missed you. I'm not sure why I didn't just tell you." Ray's eyes were red, the smoke kept blowing back at him and he could feel it's sting. "I was too much." I answered "I have questions, should I wait?" I asked leaning my head back to look at the stars. 
Ray wiped away a tear, "No, ask away." He put out his cigarette. "Why'd you talk about me, what'd you say?" I could feel a knot in my throat. "I judged you, I wasn't thinking. I called you neurotic, I called you crazy and angry and I didn't want to be around you. I left because I felt like I was...becoming better, like maturing at a different rate." Ray was letting tears slip from his eyes and leaned more over the rails of the fire escape. "I realized quickly that I couldn't help make you happy, I just tried to fade away but you I couldn't tell you." He cried. 
"Oh..." I mustered that soul-crushing syllable, holding myself now, "Part of me was...just mad for how sick Gerard became." He spoke,"What did it, what made you hate me?" I changed the subject. "Please, I couldn't hate you..I missed you, I wanted my friend back! I wanted you to be happy and you just couldn't. After that first midsummer you and Gerard were never the same. I wanted you back and I didn't see it happening." Ray stood up straight now.
"I lost you both before you lost me and now I have no one outside of Taurie and Lil because my two bestfriends hate me, I made you hate me then and I regret it now." Ray sank to sit down, it was more like his knees came from under him. "I'm sorry." I said, "You must've been really lonely. I never told you what happened, why I stopped being myself." I shook my head. I sat beside him. "I tried to say it would pass, and I-" Ray started to speak, "I changed, I did, I couldn't control anything that happened. I was angry at the universe, not you." I said, cutting him off. 
"I didn't know how to handle what happened between me and Gerard, so I turned grizzly." I said, "I understand why you left." I continued. "I'm sorry I talked about you. I really am," Ray sputtered in tears. "I wish I had just talked to you." He wiped his tears and I could tell he was trying to straighten up. "It's not like I made it easy. I'm sorry too." I said. "How do I fix that? What can I do?" Ray asked, His eyes and nose were red from crying and he kind of looked like his younger self. 
"I'm not sure, I think it takes a lot of work from both of us. I think we'll have time to work it out, since you're marrying my sister." I put my hand on Ray's shoulder. It was always hard to read Ray, his emotions seemed like a fortress he'd keep locked forever. He never withheld any love but his contempt was so silent it was loud, but here as I looked in his eyes he'd shown me the pain he carried hating me. "I want to make it up to you, I want my best friend back." He admitted. "I'll need time, but I think we can fix this." I finished. Ray nodded, the last of his tears slipping down his cheeks. "Help me up?" he asked, I stood and steadied myself and reached out to him, he took my hand and held it tight. I pulled him to his feet and we stood closer now, Ray still held my hand between us. He gave a squeeze and let go. "Thank you." He spoke. 
I nearly burst into tears looking at him, I felt the cool wind rush past us and something changed. "No problem." I resigned myself to coolness and we went inside. 

A/n: Hey guys, Im back again I got writers block on how to end this scene, give me pointers and tell me what you think. Im sorry this took so long but im really trying to improve my writing style so give me time to work. love you guys so much see you next time-Vamp