Chapter Fourteen

                                    

                                          
Joel holds my wrist as he takes us back to the truck that we left a few miles away. I've managed to calm my breathing but with each step I take I realize that I was right, Joel was hiding something and now I'm regretting not leaving when I had the chance. 
The truck comes into view and we reach it quickly. Joel puts me in the passenger side with a shove before he goes around to the driver's side and starts the truck. The tires squeal with how fast he starts accelerating and I look out the window, calculating my odds of surviving if I jump out. I think if I let my bag take the brunt of the contact I should be okay, I just have to get my nerve up to jumping. My fingers grasp the material tightly and I try to casually let my fingers drift to the handle. 
Unfortunately for me, Joel is honed in on my movements and his hand grips my wrist again. My eyes lock onto his large hand wrapped around my wrist and he glances over at me. He probably sees someone who's lost their sanity, and he would be right. His gaze softens oddly and his grasp on my wrist loosens but he keeps it there for the rest of the ride, until the truck comes to a sputtering stop. We've run out of gas. Could things possibly get any worse?
Joel's free hand comes down and smacks the steering wheel in frustration, causing me to flinch at his outburst. He catches my movement and sighs, opening the door to get out. The cool handle of the door is under my fingers and I look around us, planning my escape route. The truck decided to run out of gas in the middle of nowhere, not exactly ideal for a getaway. There are only overgrown fields and road. 
Deciding to just go for it, I open the door and start running again. But like my last escape attempt, Joel is right there and his arms snake around my waist to stop me. I thrash in his hold and beg him to let me go. 
"Just fuckin' stop for a minute." He holds me tightly until I stop thrashing around. I'm sure he can feel my racing heart against his arms. Once he's sure I'm not going to take off he places my feet back on the ground and I force myself to turn and face him. 
He's backed up a few feet from me and I cross my arms over my chest in some sort of self protection. But honestly, if he wanted to do something to me there would be no way I could protect myself. Silently, I stare at him with scared eyes. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair before he speaks.
"It wasn't like that, things didn't happen the way he said they did." His voice is level but I can tell he's straining not to yell. My throat has gone dry but I force myself to speak up.
"So you're telling me that you're the one who killed Marlene?" My eyes bore into his and he sighs again, but nods.
"Yeah. I did. I had to. There was no other way." His arms hang down by his side and his voice has lowered. I shake my head as I try to make sense of everything that's happened.
"Wait. So Marlene's job she gave you was to transport an immune girl to the Fireflies for a cure? And then you killed them all?"  It almost sounds like a bad joke, in some twisted way. 
I so desperately need things laid out for me in a play-by-play so I can understand what's going on. This truly has morphed into something bigger than myself. Joel nods his head, dropping his eyes from mine. 
"Simply put, yes." He admits and as if a lightbulb turned itself on in my mind, my eyes grow wide. 
"That's what you were keeping from me. The word immune on that paper was about that girl. You knew that. Why didn't you tell me?" Anger bubbles into my voice and I realize that if he was honest about that then things back with Trevor might've gone differently. Joel puts his hands on his hips.
"I can't just be tellin' people that she's immune. Hell I don't even want you to know." He begins pacing back and forth in front of me, worry and stress evident on his face. His words sit heavy in my mind, he was just trying to protect that girl. A frustrated hand rakes through my hair and I pinch the bridge of my nose.