Chapter 8: Daydreams

                                    

                                          
I wake up the next morning next to Robin, who is already awake. He's holding me.
"Morning Gina." He says. "I hope you slept alright."
"I had a great sleep. Maybe it was because of you." I tell him. We stay in bed for a bit longer, before we get up for breakfast. I take my gown and slip it on over my pyjamas. Robin holds my hand as we both walk downstairs together. Then we make breakfast together, and then eat it together. We clear up together.
I want to do everything with him.
He looks at me in that way, a way he never looked at anyone before. Except for one person, Marian. But I've moved past that incident, and so has he. Our painful past is something we both agree should never be spoken of. All that really matters now, is our future. After all, no one can change the past. We can only write our future. 
                          
After an hour or so, I go to my room to change. I take a black skirt out with a matching jacket, and decide on a deep purple shirt. Robin drops me off at my office so I can work. He kisses me goodbye and tells me that he'll pick me up later. But the final thing he says, is to lie down if I need to, and call him if I must. He really does care.
                          
I walk into my office and close the door. I hear my shoes click against the floor. I fall into my chair and sigh.
Why am I even working? I think to myself. I'm technically still ill, I feel dizzy right now. But then I have a reality check. No. I'm Regina Mills. I'm the Mayor. I can't sit around and mope all day. I have responsibilities. So I snap myself into shape and start working on my computer.
I stand up and walk to my drawer, taking a pile of paperwork back to my desk. I drop it down, and it thuds on the desk. It must be around 20cm high. All I really want to do right now is sleep, to be honest. My head hurts. I do quite a bit of my work, and get through at least 5cm of it. It's better than nothing I guess. My head falls onto the pile, and it must have hurt it, but I don't feel anything. I'm just thinking. Thinking about my younger life again. Every day was the same, until I turned 12.
                          
My 12th birthday was special, and was probably my favourite. 
                          
~
                          
Mother woke me up that morning. At first, I just wanted to sleep.
"Regina, sweetie, it's your birthday." She reminded me. My eyes suddenly open widely and I grin. Mother picks me up out of my bed and helps me change into my dress, which she gives to me. My favourite colour. 
"I knew you'd like it." She says.
"I don't like it, Mother, I love it!"
I run downstairs and eat my breakfast.
Then I sit in my room when Daddy walks in.
"Come on Regina, let's go. Your mother is waiting." He tells me.
"Where are we going?" I ask, confused.
"Secret." I follow him to the carriage and get in. I'm just sat in awe. We're actually leaving the palace grounds.
When we arrive, I find myself at the stables, where there are many horses.
"Choose one, Regina." Mother tells me.
"Wait, really? Are you kidding?" 
"Regina, you know I don't kid."
I look around, and a chestnut brown one catches my eye. I run towards it, and I'm instantly in love with it.
"I like this one," I tell daddy.
When we arrive back at the palace, I run to the stables, where a man is waiting.
"Regina, this is your instructor." Daddy tells me. "He'll teach you how to ride your horse."
"Thank you Daddy." I run up to him and hug him.
"Have you decided a name for it yet?" He asks me. I have.
"I decided to call it Rocinante." I reply. Then, Mother comes out.
"You know, Regina," she begins. "I think we need to have a discussion before you start your riding lessons tomorrow."
"Um, of course Mother." I force a smile. She puts her arm around me and leads me into her room. We sit down on the bed, and she begins to explain.
"Listen, Regina. You know what I am capable of. You know what I can do, especially if don't listen to me. So pay attention." 
"Okay," I mumble.
"You do not leave the castle ground without my permission. I don't care if your father gives you permission, it must be from me. I'm only trying to keep you safe. Be glad I'm letting you have riding lessons. You were such a stubborn child," she then mutters under her breath. "You only ride when I let you, and where I let you. Nowhere else. Understand?"
"Yes Mother," I say quietly.
"I can't hear you."
"Yes Mother," I say louder this time.
"Good. I hope there won't be severe consequences ever," She strokes my face with her hand. "You know I don't like it." She leaves. I'm alone in her room.
I look around and see a book.
I wonder what this is, my curious little mind thinks.
I move slowly towards it to get a closer look.
Suddenly the doors burst open and I quickly fall onto the bed, as if I was doing so the whole time. Luckily Mother suspected nothing.
"Are you coming, Regina?" She asks.
"Oh, yes." I reply. She picks me up, and I rest my head on her shoulder. I take one final glance at the book before the door obstructs anything of it I could see.
I'm curious.
No, I think. I can't touch it, nor think about it. What would Mother do if she saw me looking through her stuff?
                          
~
                          
The next day I make sure I wake up early. I put my new riding clothes on and run to breakfast.
"Regina, what have we told you about running through the castle?" Mother questions. 
"Sorry Mother." I reply, taking my seat and beginning on my breakfast. Mother can tell I'm excited. I try to eat my breakfast as fast as I can.
Once I finish, Mother lets me go outside to get ready for my lesson. 
I take the brush and begin by gently brushing Rocinante's mane. I think I get carried away, because before I know it, it's time for my lesson. 
At first, I'm really scared. 
I get on my horse and begin riding. Rocinante takes of fast and I end up losing my balance, toppling over onto the ground. I get back on to try again, yet I still fall off. Just when I think I'm getting the hang of it, I'm not. I sigh.
"I give up!!" I tell Daddy as he approaches. "I can't get this right, I just can't."
"What happened to my little girl who couldn't wait to be able to ride a horse?"
"Well, I didn't know it'd be this hard."
"You know, Regina," he says, helping me up from off the ground. "When things don't go right, you can't just give up."
"I can't?"
"No. You have to get back on that horse and try again. No matter how long it takes." I think about it, then nod. "Plus, what would your mother think?"
"You're right daddy." I give him a hug then run back towards my horse to try again.
And again.
And again. 
It took a while, but eventually I had learnt the basics. 
                          
That night, I overhear mother taking.
"Maybe it's a good thing we let her have these lessons," she begins. "It's given her a reason to keep trying and to not give up." I smile at the sound of the comment mother made. 
Then I realise it's late and if she saw me up now, she'd be pretty annoyed. So I think for a bit before returning to my bed.
                          
~
                          
"Regina?" I hear Robin say. My eyes open slowly and I lift my head up from the huge pile of paperwork. "Are you alright?" He asks.
"I'm fine. I just had a little headache, that's all."
"I told you to text me."
"I must have fallen asleep being drowned in all this paperwork."
"I'll let you off this one time." We both laugh. "I hope you don't mind if Roland joins us for dinner, do you?"
"No, no, of course I don't!" Honestly, I love Roland as much as I love Henry. He reminds me of a young Henry. Sometimes I think I do baby him a little. But I'm a mother. I can't help it if he's growing up too fast.
Robin takes one arm and puts it around my waist, and holds my hand with his other hand. We start walking slowly towards my home.
"So, what did you think about last night?" He asks.
"Last night? Last night was amazing. I don't think I've slept that we'll before." I reply. "You know, whenever I'm with you I always feel... different. I always feel better." 
"I feel the same around you, too." We both stop and hide in an alley. He brings his lips towards mine and I willingly let him take them.