Chapter 29

                                    

                                          

I sat in my room staring at my phone hoping Jackson would text back or at least make contact with me, the not knowing what was going on was eating away at me.
I tired to distract myself after dinner with homework, when I heard my mom call up the stairs to my room "Sam, there someone at the door for you!"
I jumped off my chair and made my way downstairs, Jackson stood by the door his eyes following me as I got closer, occasionally looking over my shoulder towards my parents as there really wasn't anywhere to hide downstairs.
"can we talk?" he asks as I look over to my mom, pretending to wash a cup in the sink, this wasn't really a conversation i wanted to have in front of my parents
"we can go upstairs" I say quietly  as he nods following me up stairs.
"are you ok?" I ask as soon as we get through the door frame, Jackson nods taking a step inside my room, I wanted to tell him I missed him, but before I could he started "you remember when you came over to mine after my birthday?" 
I nodded and he continued, "when I blew the candle out on that cake,  I wished I would fall in love with someone who loved me equally as much back, I just never expected I would fall in love with another boy, I never thought I'd fall in love with you Sam"
"i....." Jackson shook his head, "there's more" he interrupted adjusting his position slightly "I'm not sure what that makes me and I've struggled to label it myself, perhaps I'm Bi, but its just this one boy, its just you Sam, so maybe I'm Pan, I haven't figured that out yet, all I know is that I love you and to be with you I need to... well I need to actually be with you and we shouldn't have to date in secret, I think I understand that now"
"I just wanted us to be normal, and not sneak around" I say
"I know" Jackson Nods, "I realised on Friday when I couldn't tell any of my friends, and I was just as alone as you, and I didnt know who I could talk to, I should have just kissed you there and then, it doesn't matter who knows, I don't care anymore Sam"
Jackson takes a step forward and his paw reaches for my hand, I feel the soft fur brush against the back of it, "what happened with you're dad, Bryson and I went to find you earlier, you didn't come to school and you wouldn't answer my calls either"
"my dad broke my phone, we had a fight, I told him I had a boyfriend, things got kinda messy, so I left"
"Jackson i...I never wanted to force you to come out" 
"I know" Jackson nods, "it wasn't just the boyfriend thing, I told him I was quitting his stupid training, and this football advancement course he put me on"
"the harriers?" I ask raising an eyebrow
"yeah, he had be down for some professional footballer, and I cant compete with those guys, besides if that's the life I had to live I didn't want that anyway"
Jackson rests his forehead against mine, "I want us, I want this" he says our bodies practically touching now, his lips draw closer to mine and they meet, he kisses me softly and gently his paws and my hands hungry to pull each other tightly together.
"I've missed you" I say realising its true "if you need time its ok, I just cant have you push me away though, like when people aren't looking, I just need the Jackson I know, this Jackson"
I kiss him again, "I promise" he says 
We stand holding each other for a while before I ask, "where did you stay then? Your aunts?"
"yeah" he nods, "I told her everything and she was fine, I just couldn't face school today, Tomorrow though" he smiles. "I should probably go face my dad"
"you don't have to, you could stay here?" I offered without hesitation
"id love to, but my aunt is there now talking to him, I guess I cant stay away forever, I said I'd meet her there, but I had to see you first, and we're gonna be ok right?"
I nod smiling at him, "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you"
"you're here now, that's whats important" we kiss again and Jackson makes his way to leave, I hear my mom move away from the stairs and see her get back to pretending to wash the same cup in the sink again just as we walk down.
I roll my eyes heading over to the door, "I wish I could talk to you tonight, but kinda lack of phone, maybe I could videocall you from my ipad?" Jackson says as his ears prick up and tail wags in excitement, "yeah ok, let me know everything is ok, and if not come back here, my parents wont mind" I look around and see them trying to busy themselves,
Jackson grabs my hand again and kisses me, "ill speak to you later then" the kiss catches me off guard and I feel embarrassed he just kissed me in front of my parents, but I also felt great, Jackson was keeping his promise.
I stand at the door and watch him drive off, returning inside once hes down the road, my moms eyes give me that knowing look.
"so you two made up then?"
"Yeah" I blush indicating my unwillingness to discuss this with my mom.
I went back upstairs and text Bryson telling him Jackson didn't have his phone but all was OK and I'd spoken with him.
Bryson eventually sent a text back a few hours later but it was just a thumbs up, I'd not really text him a great deal because he wasn't the most talkative on text anyway, but at least i knew he got the message.
I anxiously waited for Jackson to contact me on messenger, or via dms on Instagram and when he did it was like when we first started talking at night again, straight after our first kiss.
"how did it go?" I asked as soon as I heard his voice on the other end of the video call, his room was quite dark, and the light behind him was just casting a glare onto the screen.
"ok I guess, he was more pissed about football like I thought, the 'gay thing' as he calls it" Jackson uses air quotes and shakes his head, "I don't think he understands, but then I don't either, I mean I tried to explain I wasn't gay but you know, I think it just confused him more"
"you don't have to defend him you know" I say, as this was a usual tactic for Jackson.
"I know, but I honestly don't think he cares about it, he just thinks im throwing my one chance away at football, but if it were going to happen it would have happened already right?"
"yeah I guess" I agree although I didn't really know how it worked
"I spoke to Bryson earlier, my dad said you'd been round too, he said in his words, 'tell your friends im sorry, I was a bit harsh on them' I mean he's never liked Bryson anyway, not that it matters"
"he was kinda rude" I said, although yeah a shit ton rude was what I was thinking
"I know Bryson told me, can I pick you up tomorrow?"
"sure" I say smiling form ear to ear, we chat for a while about things that didn't really matter, but it was good to just hear his voice again, but with school tomorrow we both said good night, although I wished he were here staying with me.
I looked up at my bedroom wall to the game fixtures, scanning the possible teams we could play and hoping for another cross county match so we could stay away again
The thought of Jackson lay next to me filled me with warmth and it wasn't long before my eye lids felt heavy and I drifted off to sleep.