39

                                    

                                          
Charles was only here for a few days, and Lando seemed to keep his distance through most of his visit. He would join us for dinner each night, and because Charles would sleep in until late most days so Lando would bring me my morning tea each morning, but he wouldn't hang around. 
"Do you have to leave today?" I groan as Charles is packing the last few things into his suitcase on the edge of the bed. 
He crosses the length to in front of me, giving me a kiss on my forehead before returning to the task at hand, "I'm sorry, I've left it as late as I can" 
"It's fine" I pout. I knew he had a huge flight to the United States before this weekends race in Texas. 
"There's only 5 more races until the end of the season, I can come back then" he informs hopeful. 
"I really don't blame to still be in this thing in a months time" I groan, tapping on my legs. 
Charles had been joining me in physiotherapy the last few days and to be honest, I've been improving a lot since then, not because Charles is anymore helpful than Lando, but because he doesn't let me give up. Lando had the disadvantage of not being able to see me in too much pain, it was a weakness for him and he was always making sure I was feeling comfortable. Whereas, Charles, anytime I wanted to give up and stop, he wouldn't let me and he'd push me way past my limits. But it seemed to be doing the trick. 
I'm able to walk along the bar now, still with a lot of assistance, using all of my strength to hold me up, but at least I was getting the hang of putting one foot in front of the other. 
"Oh, I don't plan on it either. But it's going to be winter break and we can start running marathons" he mocks. 
And then he was gone. 
It was a struggle to hold back the tears when I heard the front door close, and even harder when I see Lando rounding the corner toward the living room. 
"Hey" he announces cautiously. "Can I come in?" 
I chuckle a little, "Of course, Lando" 
He approaches my bed vigilantly, taking a seat at his usual spot, lifting his legs up onto the bed so they line up parallel with mine. 
"Are you okay?" I ask, my voice low. 
He nods, "Yeah, I just wanted to give you some time with him whist he was here"
"I appreciate that" I offered. 
"It's been kind of weird, not being around you these past few days" he admits shyly. 
"I know" I agree, a smile creeping its way across my face, "I've missed you" 
He drops his face with an obvious grin. "Yeah, I've missed you too" he shuffles slightly in the bed, uneasy. "Have you, I've been meaning to ask, have you had anymore dreams lately?" 
I purse my lips and shake my head, unable to use my voice to lie to him. Truth is, since Charles' arrival, my dreams have been coming in more vivid, leaving lingering feeling all over my body when I wake. 
I try and tell myself that it's meant to be with Lando. That when I wake feeling the things I do, with the memories in my mind, it's becoming harder and harder to link them to Lando. But when I see him, like right now, having him seated across from me, I feel something for him. 
"Having these dreams about.. Charles" I can see the pain admitting that has on him, "Are you having feelings for him?" 
Trusting my first instincts, I shake my head. That was my original reaction to his question. "No, I don't" 
I watch the breath escape him, his chest and facial expression changing instantly. "Okay" he confirms. 
"Lando, what I'm feeling is still very confusing. I have all these feelings for you, and I don't understand why they are there, but I know they are" I want to be honest with him, and I want for him to be honest with me too. 
"You have feelings for me?" he mutters, shocked. 
I sit up in my bed and shuffle closer to him, the bending of my legs causing me to flinch from a sharp pain, but I will it away. "Of course I do" I whisper. 
His hand comes up nervously toward my face, testing the limits on where he can touch. One finger is used to trace the edge of my hair, where it frames the side of my face. My eyes darting between his cautious eyes and then down to his lips, his tongue darting out to coat them when my eyes make contact. I can feel my heart thumping against my chest, nervous taking over. 
"I've kissed you a thousand times, Evelyn. I don't know why I'm so nervous too now?" he whispers between us. 
Excitement and nerves electrify through my entire body as his hand finds its way to the back of my neck, his fingers tightening slightly around the base. 
Using the slightest of forces, he pulls me gently toward him, our foreheads pressing together and our faces so close, I can feel his staggered breath dancing lightly across my face. 
"Tell me not too if you're not ready. I'm sorry, I've just, I've missed you" he mumbles uneasy. 
I shake my head violently in small pulses. "I'm ready" 
"It feels like I'm cheating our destiny, I've got the advantage of being in love with you already, I know this feels like a first date to you" he admits. 
I chuckle slightly, "It does feel like the first date, and that we are about to share our first kiss, I feel sad I've missed all the ones before" I mock. 
"Let me try and remind you, a little" he suggests before closing that final distance. 
The initial touch is filled with nervous, I can feel the tremble of our lips, unknowingly if it's me or him. We hold our lips pressed together for a moment before I feel his part again, closing cautiously around mine again, a little more eagerly around them this time. 
I bring my hands up, grasping onto either side of his neck and pulling myself up closer to him, allowing my own mouth to taste him a little further. 
I feel his tongue dart against my bottom lip before he pulls back away from, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" he repeats. 
"What for?" I ask in a small pant, breathlessly. 
"I got ahead of myself, this is a first kiss to you" he shakes his head, looking disappointed in himself. 
I shake my head and chuckle slightly at him, "It's okay, I liked it". 
I lock my hands together around the back of his neck and tilt my head slightly, allowing him to move deeper into me, our lips tangling around each other as he finds his hands on either side of my hips.