chapter 59. what can I do to fix this?

                                    

                                          
Tubbo's pov*
I stayed up most of the night reading, I know I shouldn't have and I felt terrible but I couldn't help it. It's like a story, a very sad story. 
Each paige was filled about me, his day, and little short stories about him and his life at home. It was like getting to know him but on a deeper level. 
But something that confused me was that he would always call me "his love" or "his everything" and stuff like that. How come he's never said any of this to my face? Not that I'm mad I'm just saying that I liked it and I wish that he would call me that when he's not writing. 
Even if he meant it in a friendly way I would still like it. I put the book down and went to bed. 
The next morning I woke up to my alarm. I grabbed my phone to turn it off cussing at it underneath my breath. "Good morning Tubbo.." Someone said behind me. I nearly jumped out of bed at the sound of his voice but it was Ranboo. 
"Good morning boo, how did you sleep? Better yet how did you get in my house without waking me up?" I asked. "I slept just fine, I didn't leave last night because I was scared to so I slept on the couch." He said. 
I got up and went to the bathroom to change and take a shower. When I was done I came out and put on my whose and went downstairs to make breakfast. After a few minutes he comes downstairs and he's wearing his mask. 
"Hey Tubbo, did you read my diary?" He asked. "Shit he knows.. What do I say? I mean telling him he truth is good but if I do there's a chance that he may not want to be friends.. You know what? I'm willing to take that risk."
"Uhm yeah.. I did.. Sorry." I said looking down. "WHAT?! YOU WENT THROUGH MY DIARY? ALL OF MY SECRETS!? MY BIGGEST SECRET OH MY GOD YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT-" "Ranboo calm down!" I said. 
"NO! YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE BEEN HIDING FROM YOU EVEN THOUGH I WAS FUCKING AWFUL AT IT! IT WAS SO OBVIOUS BUT IT'S WORKED FOR LIKE WHAT FIVE YEARS?" He yelled. I ran to him and hugged him to try to calm him down. 
"NO! DON'T TOUCH ME!" He yelled harshly pushing me off of him. "I don't want to see you... Not for a while." He said and walked out the door. 
"What the fuck is wrong with me? Why would I do that? I'm so stupid, I feel so bad. How can I fix it?"
"There's no way to fix it! What's done is done, there's no going back."
"FUCK!" I yelled slamming my fist on the table. 
"There's nothing I can do, the best I can do is just let him go."