Chapter 16

                                    

                                          
"Where have you been? I was so worried," Ronchet chided when he saw me, too relieved to do anything else.
"I'm so sorry," I said. We were back at Ronchet's house. I was pretty exhausted from everything. "I was kidnapped and, er ... a lot of things happened. I think I know something important about the conspiracy, but I have to go to the capital."
"Hmmm, this will need the captain's approval," Ronchet said, too surprised and thoughtful to be angry that I had abandoned him.
"Don't worry about that. I have his approval. In fact it was Lady Gwenilin who made the request," I continued. "Do you still want to go to the carnival?"
"Sure. Same time, same place." He had a radiant smile.
                          
***
                          
An hour later, he was standing there again, with a new bouquet of flowers.
"Let's go." I called out to him.
"You ..." He paused. "Look beautiful."
I flushed bright red and became extremely self-conscious. Lady Gwenilin had made me wear her dress for the occasion. "Let's just go." I fought to keep a steady voice
"Here, this is for you." He passed the bouquet to me.
I opened my mouth to tell him I didn't like flowers, that I gave girls flowers, that I'd thought he had wanted to ask my advice-and shut my mouth on it all. It wouldn't kill me to let him down gently. "Thank you," I said. "This is a surprise."
"Oh, I thought you might like the lilies." He sounded anxious, presumably because he'd seen my expression.
"They are pretty, but I'm not really interested." I passed it back to him immediately. Carrying a bouquet of flowers was not what I was willing to do, at least not walking among the crowd.
"Okay." He sounded disappointed and rather hurt by the rejection, but recovered himself almost immediately. I got the impression that he was somewhat offended but let it pass. "We can still have fun," he said, and his voice only sounded a little forced.
The trip through the carnival was a nice experience; it reminded me of my childhood. There had been travelling carnivals in the '80s, though they were hardly seen nowadays. Most had been replaced by the pasar malam-the night market.
We came across a tent with a signboard: Know your fortune. Curiosity got the better of me and I entered the tent. Sitting across the table in the centre of the tent was an old woman. Without looking up, she said, "I have been waiting for your arrival for a long time, Your Royal Highness."
That stumped me. "How did you know my identity?"
"I am the one who gave you a new life, but the time has come for you to make a choice. Sit down."
I sat down facing her. A confused Ronchet stood behind me. I presumed that he was brimming with questions he did not know how to ask. I wasn't about to fill him in. Not unless I had to.
"I am the one who brought you from your world to this, giving life into the body whose soul was already gone," she continued. "The princess was injured and the Queen asked me to save her. I had no choice but to take your soul from your world into this. Your soul was weak from the illness you had, making it easy for me to take it."
She paused and took out a box. She placed it on the table and opened it for me. I saw a small dagger in it, glowing green with power.
"This is for you. You have to make a choice within the next seven days. Either throw this into a basin of cold water and stay here or plunge it into your heart and return to your old body. If you don't, both of your bodies will perish."
I stared at her, speechless.
"You have only one week to decide. Go now." The candles went out and she was gone. The only thing left was the box on the table.
                          
***
                          
Ronchet didn't speak with me as we walked back to the headquarters. He seemed to be having a hard time of it, but managed to remain silent so I could think. My hands shivered as they held onto the small wooden box. I was filled with turmoil, unsure of what I'd heard.
This was no dream; neither was it a hallucination. I was straddling two worlds and it was time to choose between Dr. James and Princess Sarabeth. Fear gripped me as death of a part of me loomed like a guillotine hovering over my neck.
"Is what she said true?" Ronchet broke the silence, when we had arrived at my quarters.
"I honestly don't know. All I know is that I don't belong here. Even though I have lived here the past few months, this is not my life!" I stared desperately at Ronchet for answers that would never come. Nothing made sense at all. I believed that this was a dream and I was starting to enjoy the dreams.
"So you are Princess Sarabeth, not Jamie."
"No, I am James; Sarabeth is the body I occupy." I stopped in my tirade and felt my knees weaken. "No, that's not right-I'm Sarabeth too, now. I've been in this body too long. I don't know ... I can no longer ... I'm both, don't you see?" I slumped on the floor. Tears began to fall. I was not sure whether they were tears of happiness in knowing that I had found a way home or of sadness that I might have to leave this world.
Ronchet hugged me from behind, rocking me gently back and forth. It was surprisingly comforting. My tears flowed freely.
                          
***
                          
I sat in a carriage, moving out of the city. Ronchet and the rest of the D-Nine had thrown me a farewell party, complete with good food and company. No one knew what had happened at the fortune teller's; Ronchet had kept the secret for me.
Our journey was smooth and comfortable. We reached the capital in five days-on the very day that I had to make a decision.
I stood in front of the Queen, in the same room where she had told me to flee the capital. I told her all about the conspiracy, including that Princess Sarabeth had been the one to cause all the trouble. Falling to my knees, I begged for forgiveness. 
Queen Annabeth rose from the throne and walked towards me. Without warning, she hugged me. "You cannot remember who you were," she whispered in my ear. "You were not one who would harm me or the kingdom. I knew you and knew how much you loved me. You did all this to protect my throne and furthermore, my life."
She continued as she wept. "Although I am the eldest, you had more supporters. Three of the four archdukes had rallied for you to take the throne and bypass me, but you vehemently refused. If you had really wanted the throne, you could have taken it then. By staging all the murders, including your own, you eliminated the risk of our kingdom falling into civil war. You sacrificed your life for me and the good of the people. How could I punish you?"
Her words brought me so much relief. Even though I hadn't been Princess Sarabeth back then, I would have borne the burden had she been guilty.
                          
***
                          
I stood by the windows, looking over the scenic view I had come to marvel at, appreciating its grand beauty.
At my request, a basin of water had been placed beside me. I took out the box and placed it on the table. Opening it, I looked at the dagger. It was glowing a ghostly green.
I took a deep breath. What should I do?
Killing myself would allow me to return to my old life-and that was what I had wanted, wasn't it? Yet I wasn't simply Doctor James anymore; I was Sarabeth, too. I had forged many new friendships and had grown accustomed to my life here.
                          
***
                          
If you think Sarabeth should throw the dagger into the basin, please proceed to Epilogue One.
                          
If you think Sarabeth should return to being Dr. James, please proceed to Epilogue Two.
                          
*****