Closure

                                    

                                          
TW: Suicide Attempt
I let out a scream of frustration. The phone would not stop ringing and it was driving me crazy. After five minutes of nonstop ringing, I gave up and just answered it. "Leave me alone."
"I just want to talk to you." Crystal slurred.
I pretty much figured it was her but I wasn't prepared to hear her voice. "Crystal I'm not in the mood." 
Three bottles from Charlie's liquor cabinet and a bathtub full of water awaited me.
"Wait, just listen to me. Please? I just need to get this off of my chest." Crystal pleaded.
"You'll leave me alone after this?" I rolled my eyes, knowing that it was unlikely. However, a part of me hoped we could gain closure after this 'talk'.
"This will be the last time we'll talk." Crystal sniffled.
"Fine then." I sighed. "Hurry up and talk."
"You never loved me. I deserved better than you. I deserve more than someone who would only show me their emotions after we had sex. I deserve better than someone who gave up on me." Crystal ranted.
I looked at the wall in disbelief. I couldn't believe the bullshit I was hearing. "I didn't love you?"
"You don't know what love is. You never put up a fight." Crystal said.
All the fights we had flashed in my head. "If I recall correctly, I fought a lot. I was tired of fucking fighting with you Crystal. I was tired of the screaming, and the crying."
"I was only cheating because you gave me no choice!"
"I gave you no choice?" I scoffed. 
"Emotionally you never noticed me," Crystal whined. I didn't say anything so she continued. "I mean I understand why you were like that. You never had real love."
I leaned against the wall and sighed. Nothing I said was going to get through to her so I fought that urge to argue. "Did you call just to blame me for your mistakes? You should've written your message in a diary and left me alone."
"I shouldn't have had to wonder how you felt about me," Crystal said. 
"What did you want me to do shout it off the fucking rooftop?" I mumbled.
"I just wanted you to show me that you loved me. That's all I wanted. Those other girls meant nothing to me, I just gave them want they wanted." Crystal sniffled very loudly. 
She wanted me to know that she was crying. 
"Those other bitches only wanted to fuck you because you were mine. They never cared about you like I did." I found myself getting very angry. "You can't just accuse me of not caring when I spent all those nights crying over you. When I kept begging you not to cheat on me again, and took you back when you did."
"It was never about me. You just wanted to be loved." Crystal said.
I couldn't help but laugh. "You loved me?"
"I did."
"You never loved me, you only hurt me. But you already knew that." Crystal was silent so I continued talking. "Go ahead, please tell me how I hurt you. So you can move on and fucking disappear."
She waited a while before she spoke again. "Today was our anniversary."
"I know." I sighed.
"Don't you ever miss me?" Crystal asked.
"No." 
"I miss you." She sniffled.
I scoffed and shifted all my weight to my hip. "I bet."