Chapter 25

                                    

                                          
Sebastian's Perspective
I am a broken man without her. I thought it was hard over the summer being away from her, but this is so much more difficult. I am just an arm's length away from her and I can do nothing about it. It is the fact that I can be around her, but she does not want me there that is killing me. 
Every night as I try to sleep I feel the cold hands of sadness and grief wrap around me, my soul slowly shrinks through my body leaving it numb. 
I have lost nights of sleep. I have mourned our relationship endlessly. I have been mourning a lot actually. I have mourned my sister, my uncle, and Professor Fig, but most of all I have mourned Y/n. 
It is somewhat nice to have her near me, but it cannot make up for the vacant glances she gives me. I do not know why I torture myself and find a way to be close to her, but she is magnetic and I am always drawn to her presence. I guess that is why I decided to sit with her and Weasley in Advanced Potions despite my brain screaming at me not to. 
Her eyes fell upon mine and what I saw shocked me. I was expecting another vacant stare, but her gaze was warm and concerned. I was so shocked I quickly took my eyes off of hers and went for my potions book. Of course being shaken by the interaction, I drop a book on the floor. 
She picked it up and studied it for a moment. I finally realized why she was studying it when she reached it out towards me. It was the book she got me for my birthday. I tried to hide my embarrassment as I take it. It is slightly embarrassing for her to know I carry around this symbol of our relationship, but then again she still wears the necklace I got her. 
Our fingers brushed for a brief moment and I knew in that moment that the chemistry was still there between us. I thank her and she responds. Even after the brief exchange our eyes stayed glued to each other. I started to feel hope. There was hope for us after all. 
She finally broke the silence. "I was thinking maybe we could-" her voice is cut off. 
"Sebastian! You told me you would sit with me!" I hear my familiar Gryffindor friend call out from behind me. 
Of course I was upset with Nellie for interrupting a moment between Y/n and I, but she did not know any better. Nellie tends to be blissfully unaware of her surroundings. 
Most people are unaware of my friendship with Nellie, but we have never been the type of friends to talk much. We have a competitive friendship that started our first year of Quidditch season. We have recently become closer after she lost her mother to the goblin rebellion. She would typically have the more heart felt conversations with Anne, but since my sister is not around, I became her emotional support by default. 
I give her my typical sarcastic response as she hugs me. She lets go and walks away. I turn back to Y/n hoping to continue our conversation, but she is practically throwing herself on Weasley. What the fuck is going on? She seems awkward trying to flirt with him. She was never that awkward with me. 
I hang my head in defeat and decide to ignore them as Professor Sharp started his lecture. 
I diligently take notes, enjoying the fact that Y/n and Weasley have stopped talking to each other, when a piece of paper gently drops in front of me. 
I look around to see who passed me a note and I see Nellie smiling at me. 
You are looking blue today Sallow. Is it Y/n that is getting you down again?