Secrets

                                    

                                          
"You know what I was thinking about earlier?" Sophie asked, looking up from one of her books. 
Keefe let out a big sigh of relief and tossed his work aside. "Oh good, an excuse to stop studying for exams! What were you thinking about?"
Final exams were right around the corner, and as a result Sophie and Keefe's time was even more limited than usual. They'd taken to studying together under the Panakes tree just so they could be together. 
"I was thinking about the day Fitz got to leave the Healing Center, and I was still there. And you came to keep me company that evening and took me to the mentors' secret cafeteria."
"Ah, good memories. One of those rare moments when you accidentally flirted with me," Keefe smirked. The way you asked 'even to me?' definitely went to my head."
"And you wouldn't reveal your secrets and I was hurt because for some reason I thought you'd share them with me even if you didn't share them with anyone else."
"Which was funny really, because you already knew me better than anyone, maybe even Fitz."
Sophie nodded. "Was that what you meant when you said "not yet"? Because you knew there was the potential for our relationship to grow, and only then would you be willing to spill the rest of your secrets?"
"Not exactly. The main secret was that I was already completely in love with you and I definitely wasn't ready to tell you, because your weren't ready to hear it. But I was holding out hope that maybe someday you would be." 
Sophie leaned back against the tree and rested her head on Keefe's shoulder, thinking. After a few minutes, he gave her a little nudge. 
"What's up? You feel anxious."
Sophie sat up and turned to face him. "I want to tell you something."
Curiosity played across Keefe's ridiculously good looking face.
"Back right before your...transformation or whatever you want to call it...you remember that was when Fitz and I broke up?"
Keefe just nodded.
"Well, it wasn't just that I was unmatchable. I mean ultimately our views on the matchmaking process was a big part of it. But...I found out who my biological mother is."
Keefe's eyes widened in shock. "But...you never said anything."
"I know. I realized I couldn't reveal who she is without messing a lot of things up. When Fitz realized I knew but wouldn't tell him...he was so hurt. And angry."
Keefe nodded in understanding. "He really was crazy about you. I'm sure to him, finding your birth mother put you one step closer to fixing everything." 
"Yes. Except he could've chosen to be with me regardless of match status. And I really hoped, then, that he would. But he didn't." She paused. "In the end it wouldn't have mattered. Something, at some point, would have knocked some sense into me and I would've come running to you."
Keefe grinned. "I know. I know you would have. And, Sophie...you don't have to tell me who she is either, not if you're uncomfortable."
"No. I want to tell you. I know you won't use the information. You'll take me as I am, unmatchable and all. But it's still a big discovery and I've just had to keep it to myself all this time. Plus, I don't like knowing there's this huge thing that I'm keeping from you."
Keefe leaned in for a quick kiss, one hand gently caressing her cheek. "I appreciate that."
"Okay, so she knows that I know, and so does Mr. Forkle, but otherwise it'll just be you." Sophie took a deep breath. "It's Oralie."
"Oh, wow," Keefe breathed. "So it was a member of the Council." He reached out for her hand. "You okay?"
Sophie shrugged. "It was really hard at first. She was my favorite Councillor until I found out. I've been pretty angry about it, though being civil has gotten a lot easier. It's been hard, having her as my point of contact on the Council."
Keefe scooted closer and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm so sorry you've been bearing that alone. I remember how you felt when you thought Bronte might be your father. I intended to be there to comfort you and help you through it when you found out."
"I know. But then your mom did that awful thing to you and you left, and by the time you came back I'd given up on the whole search and didn't feel I could tell anyone."
"Well I'm glad you told me," Keefe whispered into her hair.
"Me too," Sophie said vehemently. "I feel like a weight has been lifted. You can carry it now too."
"But you never found your father?"
Sophie pulled away to look at Keefe. "No, and I don't know that I want to. Maybe I'm happier not knowing."
"I can understand that." Keefe looked like he wanted to say something, but wasn't sure if he should. After a moment, he spoke up. "Can I suggest something though?"
Sophie nodded.
"I'm going to tell you what Fitz told me after my fight with my dad. He suggested I try to forgive my parents for...well, for being themselves. For my own sake. I can't say it's been very successful so far, but I am trying to let go. Maybe you should try to forgive Oralie. I know that's so easy to say and so hard to do, but...it would make it easier to be around her."
Sophie groaned. "I want to fight you on that but it does make sense."
"I know it does. I'm a genius."
Sophie rolled her eyes. 
"Come on, you know it's true." Keefe smirked at her.
"Okay, it's true," she agreed. Then she clutched the front of Keefe's jerkin and pulled him toward her for a kiss. "So. No more secrets," she proclaimed happily.
There was the slightest pause before Keefe flashed a sweet smile and agreed, "no more secrets."