A beginning I had not hoped for

                                    

                                          
8. A beginning I had not hoped for 
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The ride felt incredibly slow and lengthy and I wondered how far Blood-sun pack actually was. Blood-sun pack was the pack of the north and it was respected and feared for their numbers and their strengths . I have never been to any other pack apart from my home pack since the day I was born and I never imagined I would, even though there was the possibility of my mate belonging to another pack, I had always imagined I would be mated to a pack warrior if it had resulted in Williams not being my mate and I had hoped my pack warrior mate would choose to stay with me, selfish, I know but I was young and I did not want to imagine a life away from my pack and my loved ones, well..., how life has changed. 
I was in fact living without my pack, the loved ones I had once feared to depart from were the first to depart from me. 
I was slowly taking another step in the journey of my life, it was a new beginning thought it was not the beginning I had hoped for, I had to see it through. 
I know Kaden and his pack members would never come to accept me, but I am hoping they ignore me well enough to leave me in peace and in years I would be forgotten and if the fates are on my side I would be long dead and finally resting in peace. 
Thousands of trees pass us by as Kaden drove to his pack completely ignoring my presence or rather he knew I was there but thought me to be a thorn in his flesh, he had this scowl on his face and frequently I imagined he would abruptly stop the car and rip my head off. 
I would be lying if I say I was not saddened by the situation I am in with my mate, how the relationship was already soiled before it had already begun was heart breaking.
Against all my wishes for freedom and sometimes death, I was still a damsel at heart, a part of me was hoping for a Prince Charming or a knight in shining armor to rescue me from my pain. 
Kaden would never love me, he would never accept me without seeing the faults of my father in my eyes, and it deeply saddened me that I have lost my identity and have been branded by my father's mistakes. 
I look out the window, rubbing my hands together trying to calm my nerves, but it was off no use when there was a raging Alpha breathing down my neck and with a death threat in his eyes.
"Stop that!" Kaden growls and I immediately flinched 
"W–what d–did I do wrong?" I asked frightened, I don't think rubbing my fingers together was annoying and I have managed to be incredibly silent so far 
"That thing you are doing with your feet" he snarled 
As if as impulse my feet stops tapping, I had not even realized I was doing it in first place "I am sorry" I hung my head low in shame, he already hated and my unknown habit had given him a reason to hate me more. 
He mumbled some words I could not hear but had gone back to ignoring me once again, well I on the other hand made sure to keep my legs in check. 
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I am sure several minutes have passed since the leg incident that I had made sure would not repeat again. We were still on the road but this time I was in much discomfort and I was struggling to hold it with each passing trees the car zoomed across. 
My bladder was threatening to burst and I was too frightened to ask Kaden to stop the car, but if I resulted in urinating on his leather seats it might cause a fit and I would be embarrassed, either way I would be on the end of the Alpha's wrath. 
After much debate in my head, I decided to just ask for permission to depose of my bodily waste, there was no need for the seats to suffer since I would still be scolded at anyway , my choice will save me the embarrassment of peeing on my body in front of my unaccepting mate but still my mate.