Chapter 30 - Hating the World

                                    

                                          
The following week flew by in a blur. We won our game against Tottenham at the Emirates, and it was immense. I had experienced playing at the Emirates before, but since the Euros, everything exploded within the country. Women's football became mainstream news, and that showed in attendance. We had 50,000 people at the game; it set a record. 
"Jeez," I said to Leah, as we peered out to the pitch together. The entire crowd screamed when they saw us and we quickly tucked back away.
"Wow," she said.
"Did little you ever think this could happen?" I asked her, leaning against the wall.
"No, definitely not," she replied. 

"Well, I'm glad big you can experience it." I moved closer to her, placing my hands on her hips, as she smiled at me. I kissed her softly; I could taste the salt on her lips and felt the goosebumps on her arms. "You okay?" 
"Yeah," she responded, nervously. 
"It's okay to be nervous," I answered. 
"Not nervous, just excited." I nodded my head, but I didn't believe her. Not at all. 
The game commenced, and against Tottenham, in a North London derby, I suspected it to be harder than it was. But we won; won convincingly. It was a 4-0 win in the end, with Beth scoring a goal, Viv getting a brace and Rafa pulling in an amazing header to make it a 4-goal haul. 
I was back in the 10 for this match, as Viv was playing as the striker instead. I assisted Viv for one of her goals, in which she commended me for the through ball that was timed perfectly to catch her run. I also helped set up Rafa's goal as we had a corner, that I curled in, and it landed on her head. 
"Hello Tippah, an incredible game today. A two-assist haul for yourself. What was it like out there?" the interviewer asked me after the match. 
"Very happy with the performance from all the girls," I responded. "Everyone played their part, and we were able to come away with the three points which is all that matters in the end." 
"Playing in front of this crowd, what did it feel like?" 
"It was absolutely incredible. To see how many seats we can fill in the club's stadium, I just am in awe." I smiled through the entire sentence, as I stared around at all the people still hanging around. 
"England's win at the Euros was a pivotal turning point for Women's football in this country. How do you think thats going to translate to games like this?" 
"Oh it was for sure so important. It's changed everything. I hope we can fill out this stadium one day, if not soon. It is a reality for all of us; it could happen. We're just waiting for it." 
"Thank you, Tippah," the interviewer concluded. 
"Thanks." I walked away, over to Leah, who was walking along down the tunnel. 
"Hey!" I called, going up to her. "You okay?"
"I think I've done something to my hamstring," she said, holding it. Suddenly, she straightened up. I looked over to see the physio talking to Caitlin. 
"Leah, if its painful, you need to-"
"I think it was just a cramp," she then said. "Just a cramp. I'm okay." Again, I knew she was lying. I just couldn't really do anything about it. 
Midweek, we played Ajax in the second leg. Leah didn't tell anyone about her hamstring, and I knew I should've. I knew I should've taken that step, but I didn't want to go behind her back. I didn't want to do something I wouldn't have wanted her to do if it was me. So I didn't. 
But, during the game, she went down. 
It was the 75th minute, and I noticed she wasn't playing to the standard I knew Leah could play to. Nothing obvious (and something only I could probably see in her as it wasn't her play but rather her poise) but there was something different. Viv scored our only goal in the 54th minute, and come the 75th, Leah was down. I went over to her, slightly nervous. 
"Hamstring?" I asked her.
"Yeah," she answered. I grabbed her hand, as the physios came over. She was sitting up, and I went behind her, kneeling as the physios examined the back of her leg. 
"Are you in pain?" I asked her.
"Not really," she responded. I looked over to see the girls all in a huddle. I squeezed Leah's hand before moving over, knowing she was in good hands. 
"She okay?" Katie asked as she had taken the armband. 
"Just her hamstring, but will be subbing out," I answered. 
"Alright, Lotte you will come on then," Jonas said, pointing to Lotte on the bench. "Time to close this game!" 
And that we did. We had qualified for the groups, and we all breathed a sigh of relief, except me. I couldn't breathe. Leah wasn't okay. She wouldn't be okay. Not for a little while at least. 
It was confirmed the following day that Leah would be out for a few months, and I felt something break within me. After the amazing summer she had, something had to drop sooner or later, and I hated the world for that. 
"Are you going to be okay?" I asked her, as I started prepping for camp once more. It had felt as if I had only been back with Arsenal for a week, but alas, it had been a month, and it was once again time to play friendlies with the Tillies (one against South Africa and the other: Denmark.) 
"As good as I can be," she replied, as she was elevating her leg on the couch. I came and lay beside her, placing my hand on her cheek. She leaned into it, and I gave her forehead a small kiss. 
"You sure you are going to be okay? I can stay here? I'm sure Tony wouldn't mind me-"
"Tipp, don't. Go be with your team. I'll be fine." I kissed her one more time and headed out the door. 
"You need a lift?" I said, as I group called Caitlin and Steph. I was driving down to West London as that was where our team hotel was. 
"You are a gem!" Caitlin replied, so I took that as a yes. 
"That would be greatly appreciated," Steph added. 
I swung by both their flats, my car being loaded with Matilda's gear that we most likely weren't going to need. These upcoming games for the Tillies were so important. Every game we played would be a stepping stone to the pinnacle of it all: the world cup. 
note:
- just a cute lil filler chapter.. soz 
- anyways live laugh love I am tired n delusional n need sleep!
- but ngl I only have two days left of uni n then exams :( and then winter break! yayay so hopefully more consistent (and better) chapters