47 ¦ Sick And Tired

                                    

                                          
A/N: THANK YOU ALL FOR 10K!!!!! <33


I sat in my room and cried. All day long I had tried to talk to Jay. I wanted to explain everything to him, but he avoided me and when I tried to intercept him after his classes, he made it very clear that he didn't want to talk. I was simply at the end. My strength was depleted, I felt sucked dry, and my head hurt so badly that I winced at every movement. 


Unfortunately, crying did not improve these symptoms, but rather intensified them. Although at first I had thought that these symptoms were triggered by my stressful situation and that my psyche had simply noticed me physically, towards evening the suspicion increased that I had caught a serious cold, as I felt increasingly worse and was sneezing almost continuously. 


By the time I went downstairs for dinner, I was dizzy and so lacking in appetite that I couldn't get down a bite. My mother looked worried and Lewis suggested that I had better go back to bed. 


So I climbed the tedious stairs again and only with difficulty made it back to bed. I felt more beat than I ever had before. I didn't even manage to peel myself out of my jeans and just fell into bed and fell asleep immediately.


It wasn't too long before I woke up again, though, because my phone was vibrating throughout. As I lazily leaned over to look at the screen, I saw countless messages from my friends, but most of them from Heeseung. He had also tried to call me in a few times. 


Since I was too exhausted to read through the messages, I simply turned off my phone and turned back to my other side. I woke up several more times that night and once I got so nauseous that I ran to the bathroom, but I didn't throw up. 


I had no idea what was going on with me, but with the remaining clear thoughts I could muster, I figured I must have caught a cold the night before.


***


The next morning I was woken up by my mom coming into my room excitedly. "Clara dear, you have to get up. School is about to start!", she called excitedly and I automatically screwed up my face at the volume. 


With difficulty I straightened up and groaned because my back and neck hurt. A foggy veil settled in front of my field of vision and then slowly receded. When I could see more clearly again, I noticed that my mom's face had appeared in front of me and was looking at me anxiously. 


"What's wrong my dear?" she asked, reaching out a hand to my forehead. "Oh god you're burning! You better lie back down, I'm going to get a fever thermometer." 


She disappeared from my room and I slowly lay back down in the sheets. I felt terrible and my limbs ached so badly that I felt like I couldn't move a bit. My mom returned to my room, holding a thermometer in one hand and a cold washcloth in the other, which she placed on my forehead. 


While the temperature was being taken, my mom gently patted my cheeks. "Do you have a headache?" she asked anxiously, and I nodded. "My back hurts, too." An ache in my scratchy throat made itself known as I was speaking. 


She glanced at the thermometer reading and raised her eyebrows in surprise. "You've got a fever of 40°! We should go to the doctor." She frowned "I just don't understand why you got so sick. You were always dressed nice and warm, weren't you?" She sounded stern and looked at me demandingly. "Yes." I whispered hoarsely. My mom nodded. 


"Well, I'm going to stay home today and if the fever hasn't gone down by tonight, we'll call the doctor." She rose and stood in the doorway for a moment. "If anything is wrong, call me." I nodded and looked after her, then turned to the side and reached for my cell phone. 


I waited until it rebooted, then opened the group chat of Sunoo, Riki, and I to let them know I was sick and staying home today. Then I opened the messages that Heeseung had sent me yesterday.


H: Hey
H: I'm sorry about earlier
H: Can we talk?
H: I didn't know Jay heard us. 
H: Can you please answer?
H: Do you need me to drive you back home?
H: I'm standing in front of the school.
H: Where are you? I didn't see you come out.
H: I know you're mad, but it was the truth.
H: Jay didn't deserve you at all!
H: Is everything okay? Please answer me.


Those were yesterday's messages, but this morning he had sent two more as well.


H: Do I pick you up in a few minutes? 
H: I'll pick you up at the same time as always.


He had sent the last message about two minutes ago and the moment I read it, I heard the doorbell ring. My mom's footsteps sounded and the door was opened, then a voice drifted up to me that I recognized immediately. 


"Good morning." I heard Heeseung say politely "I was going to drive Clara to school." "Clara is sick.", my mother said coldly but politely. She still hadn't come to terms with the idea that Heeseung and I were a couple, at least on the outside. I was sure she would have been thrilled with Jay. 


"Oh, what's wrong with her?" "I suspect she got a flu." Heeseung cleared his throat slightly before speaking again. "Can-can I see her?" He sounded a little uncertain, and rightly so, because my mom didn't think twice. "No! She's in a very bad condition, I think she needs her rest and you should go to school." "Yes ma'am, please tell her I said get well soon." "I will, thank you Heeseung." 


Then the door slammed shut and afterwards my mother was on the phone first with her work and then with the doctor.


***


During the day I received two more messages asking if he could come by after school, but I declined. First because I was feeling pretty miserable and second because I didn't want to deal with him. 


All day long I slept and when I was awake in between, I had trouble getting rid of my mom, who kept trying to convince me to eat something. Or else I thought about Jay and Heeseung. When I was well enough to be reasonably myself, I would send messages to Jay asking him to call me so we could work things out, but he didn't get back to me.