✧*̥˚ 22 | the emptiness *̥˚✧

                                    

                                          
"What happened?" Mina asked, her voice full of concern with Jaebum by her side. Both of them took a seat across from me. 
It has been a week since I had the talk with Minhyun. For the first few days after, it felt like there was a constant sharp pain in my chest - like a dagger was stuck in my heart - but as time went on, I was just left feeling a painful void that had opened up inside me that couldn't be filled. I was confused, sad, and angry at myself for what I'd done and what I'd lost. 
I missed him and what we had every day but remembering the image of how broken he was that night would just reopen and pour salt onto the raw gaping wound in my heart. I knew he was hurting and I loathed myself for being the cause of it.
I've had almost four bottles of soju by myself already, drowning myself in self-hatred and deep sadness but finally, my best friend and her boyfriend were here to save me from myself because I apparently drunk-called them. 
In my drunken state, I answered Mina's question and told them the gist of what happened between Minhyun and me. The alcohol numbed me slightly from the pain and shame but I knew I looked absolutely pathetic. I don't even know if they could make out what I was saying at this point because I was speaking and bawling my eyes out at the same time. 
When I finally finished, Mina and Jaebum looked at each other, their eyes seemed like they were exchanging a secret. It was suspicious, especially with the weird expression on their faces but I just let it go. I guess they were just not used to seeing me like this. I mean, I couldn't blame them. I was a hot mess, and I've never cried over a guy like this before with them.
Eventually and surprisingly, it was Jaebum who spoke first, "Naeun-ah.... We all make mistakes. It's alright, what's done is done."
"Just give him time, he'll come around," Jaebum glanced at Mina once again. 
"Yeah, he'll come around," Mina chimed in but there was something laced in her tone that I couldn't put a finger on. As though what she said almost had a double meaning but I wasn't sure. Maybe I was just intoxicated.
"Yaaaa, how much have you drank already? You need to go home and rest. That's enough for tonight." 
She wasn't fast enough to stop me when I quickly grabbed and chugged the last remaining shot of soju in the glass in front of me. I then shoot my arm up and shout to order: "Jogiyo! One more soju, please!" but Jaebum cuts in and tells the server to cancel it. 
I sat quietly and accepted my failed attempt to order, I didn't have the energy to try again. I just continued to weep silently. Mina and Jaebum just let me cry it all out; I was honestly surprised I even had tears left after crying so much all week.
A few minutes later I see a flicker of movement of a person entering the Pocha in my peripheral vision that looked really familiar but I refused to believe who I thought it was. I knew it must've been the alcohol making me see things. 
Yeah, I needed to go home. I didn't want to be anywhere with anything that reminded of him. 
"I'm really sorry," I say to Mina and Jaebum, still sniffling, "but can you help me get home?" - I sounded like a lost child but I knew I was pretty drunk. I didn't trust myself to get myself home safely. 
"I'll take her home," a familiar voice sounded like it came from behind me but I didn't bother to look. I keep my focus locked on the empty shot glass before me, my eyes are still blur from the non-stop tears that would keep welling up. Yup, I'm so far gone, I knew I was just intoxicated and hearing things now so I ignore it. 
"Please just take me home, my mind is seeing him and hearing his voice but I know he's not here," I start crying again. 
Gosh, I was so pathetic, I'm sure Mina and Jaebum were so tired of my shit already. I actually felt bad for them for having to put up with me.
I suddenly felt dizzy, the world around me has started to spin. My vision started to blur into each other; and Mina and Jaebum get up from their seats. Jaebum comes over to help me up, and I could see the shape of Mina using her phone. I deduced she was probably ordering a KakaoTaxi via the app.
I could also feel someone else's hands on my arm, but I didn't pay to much thought to it thinking that it was likely just a kind staff at the Pocha extending some help.
"Thanks for being here," I manage to say to Jaebum and Mina as I'm carried (dragged) out of the Pocha and on to the street.
My senses were heavily distorted now, and the world seemed to lose its stability as I struggle to maintain my balance; but I'm being supported by my friends. I could hear them talking but all their voices were muffled. I could only register Mina saying three numbers, '483', which were the last three digits of my keypad door lock code. 
The next thing I know, I was being shoved into a taxi. I feel my body relax at the plush feeling of the comfortable car seats but my head felt heavy. I lean against the taxi window and my heavy eyelids finally close, and I'm about to drift off into oblivion. 
I feel a hand cradle my head, moving it to rest it on their shoulder.
Then, it all went black.