Chapter 16 ~ Thrown off the rhythm

                                    

                                          
"🎶Oh, dear Aletheia, what to say to you? You'll have my laugh, you'll have your father's eyes. When you come into the world, you'll smile, and it'll heal my heart..🎶" 
Singing had become your new way of coping when everything just got a bit too overwhelming. This time, you were mumbling a 'modified' version of "Dear Theodosia" from the musical Hamilton. With edited lyrics, it fit your sentiments as a mother quite well, except for the fact your daughter hasn't been born.. yet. The day was fast approaching, though. Well, you were approaching the end of your first trimester. That's one of 3 trimesters done.
It's such a strange, bittersweet situation, the one you've managed to get yourself into. When you first found out you were pregnant, you'd dreaded your due date. Feared it. Pregnancy was such an unknown concept, it seemed so distant and so much more..mature. Something you thought you'd never be ready for, or at least, something you wouldn't be ready for in a very long time.
Not to mention all the bad things you'd heard about it, and giving birth, and the aftermath of it. All of it just sounded absolutely awful. The only good thing that would come out of it would be the baby, and even that's doubtful.. You used to think.
But given your circumstances now, you couldn't help but look forward to the day you'd get to see your daughter's face, smiling, crying, sleeping. To build your future, you life around her, to give her everything. For Phoenix and Maya to be her godparents, to build her morale and to educate her, to make her a better person than you'll ever be.. She'll grow up so loved and cared for.
..You couldn't wait to watch her grow. Turn into a young woman with potential, creativity, ambition... A future. You wanted nothing for her but the best. And that's what you were going to give her. No matter how hard you had to fight, how many battles you lost or won, how much you sacrificed. More than anything else, you wanted this child - your child - to have the life that she deserves.
I can't wait to meet you.. You think to yourself, rubbing your belly for the.. well, you've lost count of how many times you've done that today. 
Three knocks on the door and the sound of it creaking open interrupts your distant thoughts. The familiar voice of your best friend has your attention. Your head snaps up to look at him. His head is peaking through a small gap between the door, separating your office from the corridor.
"Who's Aletheia?" the lawyer asks. By the tone of his voice, you can tell he's mostly trying to tease you, but at the same time, you knew all about his curious nature. It may sound like he's asking a simple question, but really, he demanded answers.
"Oh, heh.. Just my latest idea for a baby name, that's all."
"Ooh.." He seems to like it. A small smile forms on his lips. "I like it! It sounds.. exotic."
Yep, simple is as simple does. That's Nick for you. You thought to yourself. You were proud to say you knew him all too well. When he says he likes something, he likes it. No other complicated feelings or deeply buried emotions without context attached. Given all the people you've known that are pretty much the exact opposite of this, you always found that personality trait of his to be.. refreshing.
You could think of one particular example of a man who was all too emotionally complex..
The coward.. 
Nick's voice interrupts your train of thought before you can dwell on it, on him, any further. "Does it mean something, though? It's really pretty, but I can't help but think it's a bit.. random."
"Ah, well.." You pause for a moment. You remember all the times you desperately browsed the internet, looking for a name, or at least inspiration for one, but nothing sparked your interest. Everything was either too generic or trying too hard not to be.