• 𝗪𝗲 𝗖𝗮𝗻'𝘁 𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗕𝗲 𝗙𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀 🩷

                                    

                                          
•❤️•
Y/N's POV, 1985
I've never been in a relationship with Nikki, we've never gotten involved like that because when we met two and a half years ago we were both with other people, but I found him attractive off the bat. Who wouldn't seriously? 
And since then, things have changed, those relationships we were both in at that time fell through for both of us and after going through a few others after that didn't last either, as of today we were both in happy places in our relationships... well, kinda relationships. 
Nikki was unable to really hold a relationship but was happy with that from what I can gather and I had a unofficial relationship with Tommy.
How that happened was Tommy had started flirting with me last year or so and because he was lovable and I liked him, I flirted back. He wanted to be with me but I was always hesitant to go out with him because of my bassist problem, then finally in recent months we've gone on some dates but nothing's official yet and because Tom is a romantic he'll definitely make it official in a pretty forward manor, I was waiting for that, but my feelings for Nikki always lingered. 
I didn't know if he liked me back, never had but we had slept with together, well, slept together was a loose term, we'd had sex. Close to a dozen times spread over the last eighteen months, it always happened at parties or environments with drugs and alcohol, when I had a few drinks I lost care for sense and gave into my desires for Nikki and when he was high and drunk he somehow then took an interest in me. 
I can't say why I let him, I'm just making everything harder for myself but I adore how I feel when I'm with him. After that first time we had sex, after a lot of drunk convincing that is, I could never say no when he approached me at these parties. We never spoke about what happened, we just did what we did and left then went back to being friends, though are we just friends given what transpires between us? I wasn't sure but it couldn't exactly be labelled as anything either. We're in a type of limbo I guess. 
Tonight was a party, a party for the guys' most recent album 'Theatre Of Pain', so there will be alcohol, there will be drugs and I knew Nikki and I would no doubt continue our habit.
Tommy was obviously my date for this party, and I was happy about that, I loved Tommy, and he was a very very attractive guy, someone I got on with, one of my closest friends but as much as I hated to say it, he was just filling a Nikki shaped gap. He almost fit but not quite. 
I hate having these desires for Nikki because Tommy thought we had something real and we do but only in the realm of friendship, I knew I was using Tom to an extent but I couldn't tell him the truth anymore than I could resist Nikki when he grabbed me and pulled me into some room and had his way with me. 
Arriving at the party was all well and good, Tommy and I socialised and spoke to an array of people, ranging from other rockstars to record label executives, drinking a few drinks while we conversed and we actually went a while without seeing anyone from the band until we ran into Mick and Vince, then of course eventually after an hour or so Nikki came into my field of vision. 
When I saw Nikki, he saw me at the same time we looked at each other then looked at who each of us was here with, Nikki with some blonde girl and me with Tommy. 
We both tried to play off the fact we were bothered by each other's choice of company until we both find a chance to talk, Nikki loses his date and I saw him at the far side of the room, so dismiss myself from Tommy who was too engrossed chatting with Vince to ask why and go towards the bassist, who watched me approach, having not taken his eyes off me since we first found each other in the crowd.