If it wasn't for the changes, I would probably die.

                                    

                                          
My head hurt. My head hurt. My head really fucking hurt. My head really really fucking hurt. I didn't want to open my eyes I knew it was going to be too bright in my room when I did. I fucking hate myself right now what is wrong with me last time I got wasted it wasn't nearly as bad as this! I was comfortable snuggled into my blankets and sunk into my bed. It was warm and all I wanted to do was stay forever in this blissful comfort and warmth even in the middle of June.
I heard my door open end and quickly opened my eyes, Stan stood in my doorway like he had been caught doing something wrong. He looked flushed with a glass of water in one hand, and a plate of toast in the other hand. My face was starting to get warm and suddenly the comfort I felt from under my blankets became too warm. I quickly kicked them all off and sat up.
"Uh I was going to leave this for you, then I was just heading out," he said quietly, "Your pills and some Tylenol are on the plate, "
The light in my room hurt my eyes. He handed me the glass of water and set down the plate on my bedside table. I felt like I was missing something when I looked down and saw my green trapper hat on the floor. I snatched the hat up quickly shoving it over my untamed curls.
"Thanks, man," I slowly drank the water holding my hand against my temple, as Stan sat on the edge of my bed putting his shoes back on.
"Wait," I said as he got up. "You don't have to go Stan... please,"  he stopped and looked at me slightly red.
"Oh, okay sure,"
"Thanks for staying with me Stan, and thanks for taking me home," I rubbed the back of my neck embarrassed.
"Yeah I really didn't want to leave you alone and, you've probably done this kinda thing for me a thousand times," Stan shifted uncomfortably on the edge of my bed.
"Could you get me another glass of water?" he looked relieved for an excuse to level my room as I gave him the empty glass. My face was burning when I thought about how I pleaded him to stay last night, I thought I dreamed that, and shit I told him I loved him, this is so fucking awkward.  I let my thoughts spiral deeper.
"Kyle? Dude?" Stan waved his hand in front of my face bringing me back to reality. "You were chewing on your finger, I think it's bleeding" he looked concerned as he gripped my hand in his own. I quickly brought my hand out of his seeing the almost hurt feeling in his eyes.
"Oh, yeah," I said quietly to myself. I reached into the drawer of my bedside table unwrapping a new bandaid. Stan took the paper away from me and carefully wrapped it around my fingertip, I blush furiously. "Thanks," I mumbled.  The glass of water Stan brought back was on the night table and I quickly drank it.
"So how are you feeling?" he asked.
"Well my head is fucking killing me, I don't want to ever do anything again, Jesus last night was a lot," I sighed.
"What do you remember?" he asked looking slightly doubtful.
"Most of it actually, I lost Butters and Cartman but found Toilken. We danced and uh, oh there were these guys I guess Clyde got some kind of shitty garage band, they seemed out of practice but man their voices were so pretty," I smiled thinking about the voices of the boys. Stan blushed.
"Yeah that's was, Kenny and I," My checks were hot I reached for my hat to pull it down but it was gone. Slightly panicked I tried to act like nothing was wrong.
"oh, you guys sounded pretty good," I said nervously. "What I meant by shitty was just out of practice and I'm... I-" I trailed off embarrassed. 
"Yeah we were I don't know what Kenny was thinking," he laughed, "we were actually shitty," he smiled slightly. We sat in semi-uncomfortable silence now. "What else do you remember?"
"Well the closest," I blushed harshly, "Did you mean all those things?" Stan's mouth opened a little  before he answered,
"Yes, everything I said I meant it, I still mean it and I'm still sorry,"   I hugged him, and his body tensed before relaxing and hugging me back. "So we're back to normal and super best friends again?" 
"The super-ist of super best friends," I said into his chest before he let me go.
"I love you dude," and when he said that my heart beat a bit faster, we told each other we loved each other so many times why was this any different? Becuase I wasn't in love with him before.