Everything and Nothing (M)

                                    

                                          
May 23rd, 2015
           We had defeated Ultron. Correction, Eibhlin thwarted the robotic tyrant's plan, while Vision defeated him. It was almost poetic that two of the individuals no one had wanted to trust had been the most useful. Maybe that would make things easier for the twins, though I had a feeling I would always remain an outsider to these so-called Avengers.  

   Despite myself, I had not killed Stark, nor torn his arms from his body when he had followed through on his claim to kiss Eibhlin. Partly because I couldn't blame him for wanting to kiss a beautiful woman, and partly because she had gotten more than enough revenge a few days later when she'd helped check the channels Ultron's men had dug to build the core beneath Sokovia to test how well water would flow through them. Stark had decided to turn the crater into a water source, a wise idea though I would never voice such; he'd been standing in the wrong spot as Eibhlin had opened the portal, ending up drenched and covered in sea kelp. The laugh I had let out upon seeing him emerge had resulted in Thor thumping my chest hard enough to send me reeling. Absolutely worth it. 

   We remained for nearly three Midgardian weeks, helping as we could with the devastation Stark and his creation had caused. While it was not our duty, I could not deny that I had enjoyed getting to know some of these self-proclaimed heroes; most notably Barton who had a strange habit of talking with his hands, and Stark. The Romanov woman had begun to rub off on me, as had Banner and the tin man called Rhodey. I struggled with Romanov some though, as she reminded me fairly regularly of what a love child between Eibhlin and my brother would have been like; a truly horrifying thought. 

   Stark had called an end to our work a few days later as there was little left we could feasibly do. "Even if you are gods who could grow crops and move mountains all Captain Planet-like; you can't right?"

   "I believe Sif can... In a way," Eibhlin muttered as both Thor and I shrugged from our seats beside her as we flew home on the jet Fury had lent us.

   "Well, unless you want to bring more gods down here- which, honestly, please don't- I think we're done here. Which means, Barton? You get to head home and be on dad patrol once we get back to the compound."

   "Dad Patrol?"

   "You are a father?"

   Barton nodded at the twins. "Yeah, these assholes got to meet everyone about a month back after we uh, well after that awkward run-in with you guys at Klaue's..." Wanda blushed slightly, picking at her nails as she bowed her head. "Yeah, so uh... Laura's due to pop any time now. No offense to any of you guys, but I'm glad I'll be home for this one; she's still carrying a grudge about my missing Lila's birth."

   After wishing him well, he sped off with Nat behind the wheel. It was a strange feeling, missing someone like Barton, yet as I watched him drive off, that was exactly how I felt.  I almost didn't mind it. 

   That night, I had sat with Pietro, Rhodes, and Banner, drinking Stark's liquor while we discussed the women in our lives; something both Banner and I were reluctant to do until three-quarters of the second bottle had disappeared. 

   "Nat, Nat's great; you know. I mean the legs! Those legs and, and right where her legs meet her back; that- actually, that whole area. And everything above it... spectacular!"

   "Nat is the one in the black leather, yes?"

   "They all wear black leather..." Rhodes muttered; though I couldn't tell if it was a bitter comment or an appreciative one.

   "But your Dove and my sister, they add color; this Natasha Romanov," Pietro chuckled then, rolling the r in her name like it was a purr; "She is only in black, yes?"

   "Forget about what she wears, have you ever been with a warrior woman? Loki, Mr. Mischief, I know you have! That Eep, Avyv- she's, she's a real tough lady. I bet she's... just as fantastic."

   "I think it's time the doctor went to bed," I rose, setting my glass down as I moved to help Banner from his chair as he muttered about not being tired. 

   He tipped and slid out of his chair, his arms coming around me as he chuckled. "Where are you taking me? You want to dance, 'cause, 'cause I feel like dancing. Vision, could you put on some music, please? Mr. Mischief, murder-man, do you know the Charleston?"

   I laughed, shaking my head as I held him up from falling. "I think you've had enough, Banner."

   "As do I," Vision said softly as he came to help me. "I will retire Dr. Banner to his room now."

   "Give him some Aspirin, big man's going to feel that in the morning," Rhodes said with a heavy exhale and sigh as he downed the rest of his drink, reaching for a bottle of water from a nearby fridge hidden within an ottoman. He passed one to Pietro, offering me one as I shook my head. He smirked, shaking his head. "You Asgardians are something else, man. Super strength, longevity, beautiful women from what I've heard and seen, and you can drink like fish. Not fair."

   "We also tell impeccable war stories."

   "Oh, really now, funny man. Alright. Let's hear one."

   I don't know when Rhodes fell asleep, leaving Pietro and I to dig deeper into Stark's cabinets, nor was I positive of what time it was when Thor came to force me to bed; a situation I attempted to thwart by demanding a trial by combat. A trial I would have won had it not been for that accursed ottoman! I caught a glimpse of Eibhlin as I was carried away; she sat outside beside Stark talking over a cup of what looked to be tea. She had never looked happier, and her happiness was all I had ever wanted.