Chapter 17

                                    

                                          
!!!Trigger Warning!!!
"My dad was addicted to alcohol for as long as I could remember. He was drunk everyday, eventually the alcohol wasn't enough and he also started to take all kinds of drugs. He had some serious issues with heavy mood swings. He could be all happy one moment, hugging us and asking how our day was, being a real dad. But that could quickly change and then he became aggressive and violent."
"Especially when he was drunk, he would be very aggressive. I was young when I first witnessed how violent he could be. It was a normal night but I couldn't sleep so I wanted to go downstairs and find my mom to tell her to come read me a bedtime story. When I walked down the stairs, I heard yelling. My mom pleaded to my dad to stop, her cries of pain filled the whole house. When I walked closer towards the living room I could see that he was hitting her, not just a quick punch, no actually beating her up. She would lay on the ground with her head in between her hands, she seemed defeated. But her cries were never heard, he never stopped."
"When he saw me around the corner, he'd take me by my arm and pulled me in the living room to see my mom laying on the ground. He told me that she was weak, that I shouldn't be like her. He made her an offer, I could take her place so he'd me instead. I can still remember the look on her face, she closed her eyes and with tears running down her cheeks she declined his offer. In a sick way he tried to tell me to be strong, to not let people see my pain and be weak like she was."
"Eventually the beating wouldn't effect her anymore, it was almost like she had accepted her faith, and he didn't like that. He didn't get the reaction out of her the way he wanted it so he had to think of another way to punish her. I know parents aren't supposed to have a favorite but mine did, my dad really loved my sister and my mom did everything for me."
"Then one night, he had found out that she cheated on him. He got so angry, even I had never seen him that furious. I was asleep when he dragged me out of my bed by my hair. To punish her for what she did, he forced her to watch how he'd beat me up. I cried for my dad to stop, that I didn't do anything wrong but he didn't listen. My mom tried to stop him, she threw herself at him but every time she got close he'd hit me harder. I was left with huge marks and bruises the next day. He'd tell me it was her fault, that she was the reason why he did it. It was the first time he ever hurt me but definitely not the last time, after that day it was at least once a week. Over time it became even more."
"I always had to cover up my bruises when I went to school. The physical abuse wasn't even the worse, the things he would say to me just to hurt me were cruel. He would tell me that I was stupid, that I was ugly or that nobody could ever love me. All kinds of things that would leave scars on someone so young. I started to believe the things he'd say to me." 
"He always had something to say, I could never do anything right for him. He'd have a comment on the smallest things, I used to think that he was looking for anything so he could start a fight."
A tear fell down my cheek when I thought back about the things he did and said. I will never understand how a parent could say such things to their child, a child they are supposed to love and protect no matter what. But all my dad ever did was hurt me and make me feel unwanted. 
Ghost placed his hand on my knee, with the other one he brushed away the tears and it was the motivation I needed to continue. I didn't want him to see me cry, I have always believed that it only showed how weak you are. But then he moved his hand from my cheek to my chin and pulled it up so I was looking at him. 
Looking in his eyes I saw how saddened he was by my childhood, but it almost seemed like he understood me. Soap had told me Ghost had a bad childhood so he must understand how I feel.