tetë

                                    

                                          
choking on your drink you clear your throat briefly before looking at him. "excuse me?" 
"tell me about your love life," he says again, putting on a smile while quickly grabbing the second glass, pouring himself some as well. "i mean, we're going to be in close quarters together for the next few days, no, weeks, so it wouldn't hurt if i got to know you a little better."
licking my lips, you still look at him a little overwhelmed through the darkness, before catching yourself, shaking your head slightly. "so you want to get to know me better? and you're not asking about my favorite song, my birthday, or what my first pet's name was, you're asking about my love life?" 
meguru bites his lower lip, scratches the back of his neck before leaning back. "come on, tell me about yourself." he smiles before sipping from his glass. 
"i've never been in love, at least not really," you're shrugging your shoulders slightly. 
"why is that? aren't you 19 too? tell me more." he's sincerely grabbing your glass since his is empty. 
"as i said before, i've never really been in love. so there's not much to tell. i was in a relationship once, but he was actually one of my best friends. we were just both lonely and not madly in love, you know? it was more each other's company and just comfort. nothing more, nothing less."
understanding, meguru nods before averting his gaze from you and looking off into the distance at the sea. "i once thought i fell in love with someone i'd only known for three hours."
"really?" you suddenly ask rather curiously, looking at him in surprise. 
you had firmly resolved not to talk to him about such personal crap, but yet here you two are, at midnight, sitting on the balcony, with more drinks, talking about love. 
"we met at a soccer game and really hit it off. after the game, we ended up in my hotel room together, making out. the next morning i found out that i was probably more drunk than in love after all. and she seemed to feel the same way, because in the morning she was gone" the turn of events was unexpected. 
"shit, i'm sorry. but you see, this is exactly the kind of thing that keeps me from falling in love. people just break your heart and you're miserable yourself. love is just not for me."
meguru shakes his head with a smile. "you can't sweep all people under a rug, y/n. love can make you feel better if you find the right person to share it with," he breathes out. "you can't choose whether or not you fall in love, y/n. you can only decide if the person is worth the heartache. love is only for the brave, you know?," the corners of his mouth twitch up slightly, "it catches everyone at some point, even you. and usually when it's totally unexpected." he smiles encouragingly at you before rising from his chair and opening the door. 
maybe meguru isn't so wrong, and maybe he isn't as bad as you had assumed. maybe you've just been alone too long, and maybe you've been pretending you don't need love in your life for too long. 
"oh, by the way," you hear his voice, which is why you turn your head to him, see him standing there leaning in the doorway. "you're a damn good kisser." he grins at you briefly before disappearing inside, leaving you speechless. 
dropping back into the recline you can't help the smile that creeps onto your lips.
when you return to the room a good twenty minutes later, meguru is already fast asleep. quietly, you close the balcony door and draw the curtains a little before undressing and getting into bed next to him. 
unlike him, you don't fall asleep so quickly, because his words keep echoing through your head. 
and so it happens that every now and then you only get a few minutes of sleep and then you're awake again. 
sighing, you lift your phone after what feels like an eternity and look at the time; 05:26. 
annoyed and totally overtired, you put the phone back down, closing your eyes again. 
"y/n? are you awake?" you hear his voice not five minutes later, which makes you wince in shock.
you didn't expect him to interrupt the silence now.
"yeah?" you look up at the ceiling. 
"i can't stop thinking about our conversation." he's now turning his head towards you. 
"oh yeah?" you ask back, turning your head to him as well, even though you can only make out outlines. 
"i think it's such a shame that you don't want to give love a chance just because you've never really felt it and immediately associate it with something negative. you're still so young, y/n. you're 19 fucking years old." 
he's no older himself, after all. 
"you can fall in love with the wrong people, y/n, yes. and yes, they'll break your heart, too. it's a fine line between what you want and what you need," he shakes his head slightly. "i've only ever been lucky enough to meet obnoxious girls. i've probably never really been in love then either. at least not in a way that i could have imagined anything longer" 
you shrug your shoulders slightly, whereupon he speaks up again. "don't give up. love can be beautiful too, and not just for a moment, but forever, all right?" 
"all right, meguru" you nuzzle with a sigh and apparently he's satisfied with that as an answer, because from then on it's quiet again and both meguru and you fall asleep once more.