Ch. 3 || Sister's Bond

                                    

                                          

Zaria 🌹
"This way, ma'am." the nurse guided me through the hospital's private wing (courtesy of the insurance from Thia's employers).
My heels are making a sharp clicking sound on the floor but that's no comparison to the heavy thump in my chest. My vision was blurry because of the flood of tears in my eyes.
There is only one thing that is keeping me going, hope. Hope is the only thing I can do at this moment, and I feel so helpless for not doing anything to save my sister's life.
I don't want to wait here till she gets better, I want to fucking do something, I need to do something for her.
"Here" the nurse said as we reached the waiting room. "Her condition is pretty serious, she has to undergo an operation, and this might take a lot of time. But we assure you that we're doing our best." the nurse breathed out and left for the operation theatre.
The images of Thia lying on that bed injured, fighting for her life made my heart drop in my stomach. I can't imagine my life without her. After my mother's death she has been my guardian angel, a person I look up to.
I can't afford to lose her.
I shut my eyes close, tears flowing on my skin and an unfamiliar sob broke out followed by another and another. My knees weakened and I fell on the seat, clenching my hands tightly around the edges of the chair.
I can't breathe. This is too much. I want her.
Thia please don't give up.
I pressed my hand on my heart trying to calm the pain. it's not working but I need to focus, I can't lose myself. I'm the only one here to handle this situation and if I can't keep myself focused, the situation will get worse.
I inhaled deeply. I looked around and there was no one except me. Never ever had been. It's always been her and me. 
Me n you sissy. Till the end.
My gaze fell on the glass wall in front of me. My eyes are red and swollen, hair is a bit messy from the amount of time I brushed through it with my hands in frustration, black mascara stains my cheeks. I was still wearing that black gown from the event. I looked like a complete mess.
What if mommy was still here? What would she do? How would she face the situation? If she was still here, I would have had a shoulder to cry on. With her angelic aura, she would have fixed everything. I miss her smile, I miss her presence, I miss her comfort. I just, miss her.
I'm so proud of you, my little cupcake.
Her soft voice ringed in the back of my head.
That did nothing good, it only made me sob more. I'm not brave, I'm not. But I have to be. I need to be brave.
Just give up like you always do.
My inner critic voice spoke in the back of my head. I tried to ignore it but maybe she's right. 
It's hard to stand up when your life is always pushing you down. No matter how good we do in our life, no matter how much we fight, there's always this feeling that we are not enough. 
But I refuse to give up. I refuse to let bad circumstances put me down. Because giving up means giving up on my sister, and that's not gonna happen.
I'm going to face it with my pride. I'm not going to let anything happen to her after this. It's my turn to be here for her like she has been for me for all 25 years of my life. It's time to take control in my hands.
I wiped my tears and sit up straight, ready to face anything that will come. 
"Zaria" I heard dad yelling to my right.
I looked in that direction and saw my dad and Damien walking towards me. Damien's bodyguards stood in a line by the walls. Dad looked upset, his eyes wide and mouth parted and frowned brows.