unravel |•| 0.1

                                    

                                          
For as long as they can remember, they have never been normal, even the people they surround themself with were never normal.
But then again, nobody is normal, because nobody is perfect. And they am far from it.
Body dysmorphia.
Facial dysmorphia
Eating disorder
Anxiety
Potential ADHD
Life really wanted to screw them over
And the cherry on top?
Depression.
Hard
Core
Depression
The kind of depression that makes you want to cry ever second of every day.
The kind of depression that makes you cause your body physical harm just to ground yourself
The kind of depression that kills
But that's besides the point.
After all, what good is the therapist friend if they're unavailable, too busy, or dead, right?
Don't get me wrong, they're not the only one.
But sometimes it feels like they are...
Like everything around them is... Gone, irrelevant to their case, like the world revolves around them, and only them.
Sounds fade away until they're left with their own thoughts.
The same thoughts that still scare them to this day.
Their escape?
Music
Writing
Reading
And art
As basic as they are, these simple activities are therapeutic in a way, and they wouldn't change them for the world.
They knew their friends cared, they knew that if they needed a shoulder to cry on, all they needed to do was ask and there would be a group waiting to help. But he could never bring himself too ask for that help. To make that small step to getting better.
Instead, he suffered in silence.
Their thoughts consuming his sanity and stability untill he broke once more.
***
My entire life was a lie.
That was the only thought that occupied his mind. The water rippled above him, making a sloshing sound as he moved his arms, disturbing the peaceful serenity the scalding liquid gave him.
Their lungs burned with the need for air, but he didn't allow himself to rise, instead, he forced his head to gently make contact with the bottom of the bath, keeping his mouth and nose as far away from the surface as possible.
Black spots infected his vision, the kind that you would get when you pressed down too hard on your eyes, or when you stood up too fast and you became really light headed. 
His hands lost their grip on the sides of the bathtub, and his body floated up, his lungs being allowed that air that they so greedily craved. He wasn't worth it, the air was too good for him, he didn't deserve to breath it, and so he punished himself again, taking a deep breath and pushing his head back under, his vision becoming blurred as soapy water grazed the sensitive organs that allowed you to see.
This was his life.
And it was a curse
He was forced to live under his parents rules 
Since when did they care for his health.
Nobody cares until shit becomes physical.
So keep stuff mental, and you will be A-Okay.





At least that's what he told himself.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Hello! 👋
I am back from the dead, once again, and for once this story isn't a fan fiction, it's simply a book I am writing to bring attention to the shit that kids go through because of the oppressive rules that life forces them to follow.
I do hope you enjoy, however if you are not good with themes like: Self harm, suicidal thoughts, homophobic behaviour, transphobic behaviour, hypersexuality, gayness, depression, eating disorders, talks about murder, dark humour, threats, amongst other things, I do suggest you stop reading this book, I know it's a bit late considering it's the end of the chapter- however I think it is better late than never.
Watch this persons poor story unravel
Or don't
I can't make you.