20. jealousy

                                    

                                          
Harry's arm tightens around Louis' waist in his sleep when Louis leans over to place soft kisses beneath his ear. The first beams of sunlight pour onto them between the white sheets that are crumbled somewhere around their waists. 
"Morning beautiful" Louis whispers into Harry's ear, his kisses wandering over his jaw to his cheek and finally to his mouth. Harry feels so soft, as always in the morning. So warm, so comfortable. Almost like home, a little bit. 
 Harry only hums in response, not quite able to form words yet, maybe also not because Louis is claiming his lips. 
"Hi" he eventually whispers when Louis pulls away, and he raises his arms to caress his cheeks in his soft hands. "I don't ever want to get up" 
"We don't have to get up" Louis says quietly, drawing patters with his finger onto Harry's naked chest. "Could just stay here... lock the door... ignore Anthony... fuck all day..." 
Harry lets out a breathy laugh at that, pushing Louis onto his side so that they lay sideways and look at each other. "I'd like that" 
Louis smiles and raises one arm to go through Harry's hair, but somehow it feels weird. His fingers don't manage to go through the soft strands, instead they don't manage to go through anything at all. He looks at Harry, swallowing hard. 
 "No" Louis whispers, when Harry says something inaudible, as if he wasn't even there. He shuts his eyes tightly, not ready to open them only to find out that he's alone. "Please stay here" 
But Harry can't hear him, and all the warmth slowly leaves his body while what he touches vanishes too. 
Louis lets out a silent sigh when he opens his eyes, finding the room dark and empty. His bedroom, at home. The other home. 
 A glance at his alarm tells him that it's only a little after four in the morning. Louis groans and falls back against the pillows, covering his face with his hands in agony. It's been five days without Harry and here he is, dreaming about him for the fourth time, only to wake up all alone, cold and sad. Louis turns around and tries to fall back asleep, but he already knows that he can't. It's been like this ever since he arrived back here five days ago. It's been hell and worse. He loves his friends, but he loves Harry too. He wishes he could have both. 
Harry is on his back in his bed all alone, the covers feeling cold around him. He stares at the ceiling, wondering how long it will take until he will forget everything he wants to hold on to. He doesn't want to think of Louis, he doesn't want to dream of him. He only wants to be near him. It's either that or to forget him. Suddenly, door is thrown open and the noise as well as the sudden beam of light that comes from the hallway and cuts through the darkness inside his bedroom makes Harry sit up quickly. 
It's his mother standing in his door, before she walks into the room and over to Harry's bed. "Good morning, how are you feeling?" 
 "Tired?" Harry replies, dumbfounded. "It's half past four" 
"I told Anthony to get the horses ready for you and Cecilia, and you will take her on a nice ride out and show her the sunrise" 
"I'd rather sleep" Harry decides, laying back down, but his mother glares at him. 
"This was not an offer" 
Harry rolls his eyes without his mother seeing him and gets up reluctantly. She nods with a smile and leaves the room after handing him some ridiculous clothes. When the door is closed, Harry lets out a groan. He knew right when Louis left that the next few months would probably drag him through hell and back, missing the only person he can't have, being forced to learn how to rule a country he doesn't want to rule and his mother being back.