50

                                    

                                          
I had spent the first few days after Anika's arrest, thinking. 
The feeling of betrayal never let up and I think it'll take a while before I could let it all completely go. I was struggling to forget it all and the worst part of it was that it wasn't something new. Feeling betrayed wasn't even a foreign emotion to me. I've been betrayed so many times in my life that I've lost count of it all – first my father, then Levi, then Sophia, and then there was Piper. So you see, feeling betrayed wasn't new to me. In fact, I'm so used to that feeling I should be numb. But I wasn't. However hard I tried, I'm not able to numb myself down.
Anika. That one name kept repeating inside my head and at this moment, I couldn't think of anything else.
I was thinking about anything and everything Anika related. From the first day I had met her, since the first hello, I've been analyzing everything I've said to her, everything she has said to me, trying to find the reason behind her actions.
"You must be my new roommate! Hi!" the bubbly blonde girl with big green eyes asked. She was standing inside my room, so she must be my new roommate. 
"Uh, I must be," I had forced a smile on my face, not really used to being roommates with anyone in my life before, "Nice to meet you. I'm Addie."
"My name's Anika Marie Jones," she had grinned, "And I can already tell we're going to be the best of friends."
Before I could even respond, she had taken two steps forward and engulfed me in a bear hug, catching me off guard.
I had thought on my first day as Anika's roommate that I needed to figure out a way to switch rooms, but I wondered why I hadn't gotten around to that. The thought completely slipped my mind and since I befriended Dawn, I was hardly sleeping in my room anyway and it wouldn't have made sense for me to switch rooms where I would again not sleep in. But I questioned how different things would've turned out to be if I had switched rooms my first week in school.
"It was really cool that you had stood up for me, I truly appreciate it," she swallowed, her eyes finding me as we came to a stop outside the club building, "But you've just put an invisible target on your back."
I had stood up for that girl even before I had considered her my friend – well, I don't know if I even considered her my friend, but what she has done, sure does hurt, if that makes any sense – and yet, here she was repaying me by trying to kill me. I still cannot believe that bitch had tried to kill me. Poor, little, sweet Anika Marie tried to kill me. What a wonderful turn of events.
Roman's fingers danced across my shoulder, his legs tangling with mine under the comforter, "What're you thinking about?"
I shrugged, my eyes falling on the open window in my room, "Just this and that."
"I know what you're thinking," he sighed, burying his face into my neck, "And I cannot tell you to stop thinking it because I know that's impossible – but can you at least try, my love?" he asked, "I'm going to a swim meet tomorrow and I won't see you for three days. I want today to be about us, please."
I had been relentlessly bullied the past couple of months by an unknown person, now that I can finally put a face and a name to my bully, I wasn't able to stop thinking about it all. And Roman knows it. Unfortunately, the face also happened to be one of my friends'. A friend that I had stood up for. A friend for whom I had put a target on my back and got drenched in liquid cow dung. A friend that I had shared a room with for months. A friend that I had shared so many memories with.
"I'm sorry," turning to my side, I pressed a kiss on the side of his lips, "I keep trying but somehow my mind still wanders back."
"I know," he said, "I understand why it does. I just... I don't want you to keep stressing over it is all. The trial is in a couple of weeks and you need to testify anyway. You'll be reliving everything again, but until then, try and stay here, in the present," he pulled me closer so our noses connected, "With me."