#1 Book
Lale yilmaz is a 17 year old Turkish Muslim revert who had to move to Malibu because of her fathers new job. Unfortunately, she went through a lot in her home town and her past still haunts her to this day. This causes her many problems she...
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༻❀LALE❀༺
"Lale, are you ready?", my dad shouts from downstairs.
"Yes, I'm coming!", I shout back while I grab my bag for school.
We moved to Malibu two weeks ago and today is my first day at my new school. I lived in Hamburg, Germany before and unfortunately my experiences at my old school weren't good.
I'm happy we moved away because honestly I don't think I could've survived another year in that horrible place.
A sudden huge wave of anxiety hits me as I reminisce over the past.
I thought if I leave the place, I'll be okay and forget about everything that happened to me, but the memories still stuck with me.
What if it happens again? What if I have to go trough all of this again? Will it be different this time?
I wish there would be an off button for my thoughts.
"I'm going to be alright", I tell myself, "you're going to be alright."
When my father told me that we have to move to Malibu because of his job, I felt relieved. It felt like a heavy burden fell out of my chest.
Every night I was crying on my prayer mat and praying to escape this horrible place.
I felt stuck and trapped there like I can't escape it. It was suffocating.
Everything there felt dark and gray. No matter how much the sun was shining or how green it was, it was still very gloomy.
Here in Malibu, we have palm trees, great scenery, a beach and the sunsets are stunning, it's full of colors but the world seems still bleak to me.
I try to stay optimistic and see it as an opportunity to close the old chapter and start with a new one.
But it's really hard when you feel numb.
When everything feels empty and wrong.
When nothing makes you genuinely happy anymore.
When you have no interest in things you once enjoyed before.
When you try to stay optimistic and hopeful that everything will get better one day, but the tiny little voice in your head tells you otherwise.
