A Discovery That Raphael Didn't Want to Discover

                                    

                                          
Raphael grumbled in annoyance as he stormed back down into the sewer. At himself mostly, but also just in general. Word of advice, when your brothers leave home wearing heavy coats, you should probably stop being stubborn and grab a coat too. Now he was freezing his shell off, and Donatello had urged him (more like ordered him) to head back and keep warm.
Well fine then. Good luck carrying all those pizzas without Raphael to help.
Or Leonardo for that matter. Their leader in blue had decided to stay home, probably to brush up on some training or reading, the dork. Raphael rolled his eyes. Truly not his idea of a good time.
Though honestly, neither was getting frostbite.
Maybe Leonardo did have the better idea after all.
Raphael slid down the ladder into the sewer tunnel, ignoring the burning feeling he was getting from the freezing metal. He rubbed his hands together as he walked alongside the mucky water.
Being cold-blooded sucked.
He wondered briefly if Mona Lisa had to deal with this too, or if she kept her human warm-bloodedness after her mutation. Eh, he'd ask her next time she stopped by for karaoke night. Oh wait, she was coming over to help Donatello with his invention that Friday. In that case, he'd ask her then.
He shivered as he finally stepped into his sewer home, only to freeze at the awkward sight before him.
Truly, luck was on his side today.
A dressed up Lotus Blossom, sitting on Leonardo's lap, playing with his mask tails, kissing him.
Um. Barf.
Raphael nearly booked it at the sight, only for him to question what was actually happening.
Since when were they actually together? Was this a new thing? How long has this been going on?
And wow, how fortunate that Master Splinter happens to be gone this week.
Raphael's eye twitched. Out of all of his brothers, Mr. Goody-Two-Toes is the one he least expected to get a girl before he did. At least Michelangelo had been flirting with Kala for years before they started dating. But from what Raphael knew about Lotus, she wasn't usually open about her feelings. Though  apparently Leonardo knew exactly which steps to take to attract her.
Oh puh-lease. Leonardo? A heartthrob? The idea of it made Raphael cringe.
The scene continued as Raphael stood there gaping.
Leonardo tilted his head, holding Lotus closer and humming contentedly. Lotus eyes fluttered open for a moment, only for her to realize they weren't alone. She jumped off of Leonardo and gasped. Her apparent boyfriend looked disappointed before following her gaze and immediately blushing a color similar to Raphael's mask.
There was a long silence.
"... For once," Raphael spoke, "I don't even know what to say."
Leonardo looked between Lotus and his brother, clearly panicked. "U—um, Raphael, I can explain—"
"Yes, please do."
Leonardo was visibly sweating. "Um, well ..."
Raphael crossed his arms.
"Well, Lotus and I are dating now." He glanced at Lotus. "We have been for nearly two months."
Two months?!
"And you didn't think to tell anyone?" Raphael accused. "And to think, I thought my boy scout brother valued honesty!"
Lotus frowned. "First Donatello, and now Raphael," she said quietly. "I'd rather tell Michelangelo before he walks in on us too."
Leonardo just sighed in defeat.
Raphael sputtered. "You mean to tell me this has happened before?"
The couple nodded sheepishly.
"And Donatello knew and didn't tell me?!"
"We asked him not to tell anyone," Leonardo said.
Raphael grit his teeth. "Does Splinter know?"
"..."
"..."
"No?! Are you pulling on my shell right now, Leonardo?"
"I mean, um, I wouldn't be surprised if he already knew," Leonardo admitted, fiddling his thumbs. Lotus raised a brow at him. "I may have mentioned to him what happened before we got together. Y'know, for advice."
"Ah." Her face scrunched up in amusement. "I'd like to hear about that sometime."
"Can we get back to the subject at hand, please?!" Raphael snapped. "Ugh, I take it back; I have so much to say about this."
"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't think any of you would be back so early!"
Raphael growled. "I forgot my coat," he mumbled. "But that doesn't matter. Even Michelangelo and Kala know better than to pull this stunt."
Lotus crossed her arms. "I happen to live two blocks away, not in another dimension."
"I wish you did."
"Raphael!" Leonardo scolded, while Lotus rolled her eyes, unbothered.
"I don't think it's fair to criticize us when you and the lizard girl are so close," Lotus stated, deciding to turn the tides against him. "I wouldn't be surprised if I walked in on you two making out."
Leonardo winced. "Lotus ..."
Raphael sputtered violently. "Tha—! We—! There's n—nothing between—! Why would you say that?! We're just friends!" He glared at her. "And even if we did decide to try this sort of thing, we wouldn't be caught!"
Leonardo had nothing to say and stood in place, looking very uncomfortable.
"I'm very certain you'd be easier to catch red-handed than me." Lotus smirked at Raphael, who was getting pinker by the second.
"Oh for the love of—! This fanfiction is getting ridiculous!" He squeaked. "Just don't let me catch you two canoodling again, or I really will blow a fuse!"
"I think," Leonardo intervened, "that Donatello and Michelangelo must be heading back by now. Maybe we should all calm down, and Lotus can head home for the night. We can ... talk about this some other time."
"... Fine." Raphael stomped out of the room. "I'm not coming out of my room until the pizza gets here."
Leonardo sighed again. He turned to his girlfriend. "You should probably head back."
Lotus nodded. "You'll stop by tomorrow, right?"
"Yeah, definitely." He squeezed her hand. "Stay warm, okay?"
She kissed his cheek and smiled. Grabbing her coat, she left the lair.
Leonardo groaned, rubbing the back of his neck. "I guess I have to rip off the bandaid soon."
The statement couldn't be said without a helpful "Ya think?!" heard from Raphael's room.