4

                                    

                                          
My whole day was ruined. All I could think about was that even after we kissed, Rosie still wanted Jisoo. Even though she's known me longer and we are best friends, even though I've always been there for her no matter what, she still wanted Jisoo Kim, not me.
I've never actually had my body cut open and all my guts ripped out, but I imagine it would feel a little like what I was feeling right then. I had such a sour taste in my mouth that I wanted to wash it out, spit the taste out, and try again with something sweeter.
I don't even know why I was making such a big deal of it. I mean, Kookie had a point. Rosie could like whoever the hell she wanted. I didn't have any claim over her, and until then, I didn't even know I liked her like that. I mean, I had all this time to show her I was interested in her, but I didn't. So, it's really not anyone's fault but mine.
That didn't stop me from trying to blame Jisoo.
I mean it just wasn't fair. What did perfect Jisoo have that I didn't have? 
Just then, I was brought back to all her crowning achievements, and I cringed because it turns out there is a lot about her that I don't have.
She's just perfect, which is really annoying.
"Any reason why you are aggressively stabbing your pizza?" Kookie asked at lunch.
I glared at him.
"I saw you talking to Rosie this morning, so I'm guessing things didn't go well?"
I glanced over to Rosie who was once again sitting next to Jisoo and all the popular kids. He followed my line of sight.
"Lisa, just tell her how you feel."
"Yeah, no. She has a crush on Jisoo. She told me so! Perfect," I stabbed my pizza, "little," I stabbed harder, "Jisoo!"
My plastic fork broke. He sighed.
"Well, what did you say to her this morning?"
"I said I was sorry for being stupid. And we kissed." 
"Wait, rewind, you kissed!?"
"Yeah. We did, it was ... nice." I smiled at the memory.
"Lisa! That's great."
"No, not great, because right after that, she was all like, you can help me get in practice so I can wow Jisoo. To which I felt my heart shrink three sizes."
"Oh, ouch. You must suck at kissing." 
"Not helping!" I snap at him.
"Maybe you should just let it go. There are other girls in the sea."
"I don't even know if I like girls. This is all so weird, okay. I mean, I am barely coming to terms with the idea that I may sort of like Rosie as more than a friend. I just don't know. Maybe I'm destined to be alone forever." I pouted.
"Cheer up. Look, no one said you had to have it all figured out. Take it slow. You don't have to rush into anything just because Rosie likes Jisoo. For all you know, they could be a bad match, and the relationship could only last a day. Hell, maybe Jisoo is straight and likes someone else."
"Yeah... I guess you're right. You've given me an idea." 
"I don't like where this is going." He frowned.
"No, listen. If I could find out if Jisoo likes someone else, or better yet, get her to fall for someone else, then Rosie would have no choice but to move on."
"Lisa," he sighed.
"It's brilliant! I bet I could hook her up with Crush from work, you know, she was asking all sorts of weird questions about him. I bet she thinks he's cute. The guy is single and was totally flirting with her. I could set it up!"