It's Easiest to Blame Myself

                                    

                                          
Daytime-Goro Akechi
The moment Y/N stopped responding to Akechi, he went hysterical. He immediately called emergency services and sent an ambulance to find Y/N, then started barking orders at police officers. He didn't give a shit about maintaining elegance or saving face. Y/N was hurt, she was scared, and Akechi wasn't there to protect her.
"You can't just leave!" Sae yelled at Akechi.
Akechi was about to run out the door to go with a police car to Y/N's location. He had to find her, he had to see her, and no bitch with a briefcase and an expensive suit was going to stop him. 
"Unlike cold blood-sucking bitches like you, I actually have something I care about more than money!" Akechi yelled. 
"The police and emergency responders will handle–"
"They will not handle it!" He screamed. He had never yelled like this at Sae before, or at work for that matter. "Now shut your worthless whore mouth before I make you!"
Sae looked flabbergasted. Akechi stormed out of the building before anyone could say or do anything to him.
He was definitely fired.
The drive didn't take long, especially with sirens getting everyone out of the way. Akechi flew out of the passenger seat and rushed to the scene of the crime, where other policemen were putting up crime scene tape.
"Where is she?!" Akechi demanded.
One of the crime scene investigators stood up from where he was crouched over the large puddle of Y/N's blood. "She left with paramedics."
"She's still alive?" Akechi asked hopefully.
"Her condition looked bad, and they rushed her to the nearest hospital," the officer replied. "But she wasn't dragged off in a bodybag."
Another officer was going to the hospital to check up on Y/N's status. Akechi left with him, and ran inside the hospital. The woman at the front desk didn't seem amused with Akechi's pissy attitude, and told him to sit an wait. Akechi completely lost it, and the officer that came with him had to wrestle him into a seat.
"You've got to relax, Akechi-kun," the officer said gently. The officer was a middle aged man with kind eyes. He had been working on the police force for years. He sometimes worked alongside Akechi on some cases. Akechi tried to remember his name. It was…Goda, he recalled.
"She's dead she's got to be dead–"
"No…the receptionist said that she's in surgery right now," said Goda. "She's your girlfriend, right?"
Akechi took a deep breath and covered his face. "I don't want to lose her. I can't. She's all I have."
Goda's brows furrowed. "I'd feel the same way if this happened to my wife."
"I did everything to protect her and why did she get hurt after all of that?" Akechi was miserable. "Why does god hate me?"
Goda patted Akechi on the back. "It's not your fault."
"Yes, it is." Akechi was trying to not start sobbing in a hospital waiting room. "She was stabbed by one of my fans who had started stalking her. Of course, nobody actually gave a shit both times I presented it to the police. The first time her apartment was broken into. That's why we moved. The second time now…she's…" 
Goda stood up. "I'll be right back, gotta find a bathroom."
Akechi stared at the floor. He felt numb and empty. All he could think about was Y/N's terrified voice on the phone. He left her alone somewhere he thought she was safe. No, she should have been safe. What happened? Did he make a mistake? Of course…he was always worthless all along. No matter what he did, it still didn't matter in the end. He wanted to disappear. He started shaking with a deep trauma and fear he had kept bottled up since he found his mother's corpse. He had let Y/N in, and he was now facing the consequences.