story 169

                                    

                                          
JJ's POV:
I just got into a huge fight with my dad. I thought it was bad the night of the hot tub thing with Kie and Pope but this was way worse.
I was in so much pain as I walked to the Chateau. I spit mouthfuls of blood out on my way over. My ribs were probably broken and it wouldn't shock me if my knuckles weren't broken or dislocated.
I finally arrived and my friends were all outside sitting around the fire. John B noticed me and asked, "Are you okay?"
I tried to respond and I couldn't. They all looked at me and my eyes met Kie's. She was usually able to get me to calm down. My heart was racing from the adrenaline of the fight I was in.
"JJ" Pope said trying to snap me out of
"Was it your dad?" Sarah questioned and I nodded my head yes
My heart was pounding. My hands were all sweaty. My stomach was in knots. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I've been anxious before but I can pull myself out of the pretty easily. This was different. I had no idea what was happening to my body.
"J" Kie said walking up to me and looking right into my eyes
I tried focusing on her to calm me down but it wasn't working. Why wasn't this working? All my friends were watching and they all approached me. John B reached out and grabbed my arm and said, "It's okay, we've got you. You're safe"
"My dad... He" I tried to say but I could barely breathe
"What the hell do we do?" Sarah asked worriedly
"He's having a panic attack. We just have to wait it out and try to help him" Pope said confidently
My friends all began to talk and I wasn't really paying much attention to their chatter. I was so locked in my own mind. Kie hugged me and I was able to relax for a second but then the thoughts came back.
I know, I screw up sometimes but I'm not an awful kid. What did I do to get a dad like Luke? I've tried everything to make him love me and nothing works. My mom left us when I was a kid and ever since my dad has blamed me for her leaving. I was just a kid. What did I do so wrong?
You worthless piece of shit. Your momma knew. You're my biggest mistake in life. I wish you were dead. I fucking hate you. You're a waste of space in this world. Fucking thief.  You have that fancy new gun you should use it to shoot yourself. I'd be doing your friends a favor by killing you. Go kill yourself. It's your fault your mom left.
Everything my dad has ever said was echoing in my head. I was crying and I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was going to pass out. My head was so loud right now and wait... It's quiet now. I'm okay. My breathing slowed down and so did my heart rate. Kie was kissing me. She pulled back and put her forehead on mine.
"You're okay, just focus on me" She said as she locked her eyes on mine
I stayed calm and she was whispering, "Just breathe, you're safe"
I have no idea how long we've been standing like this but she backed away and said, "I'll bring him inside and get him cleaned up"
She walked me inside to the spare bedroom and I sat down on the bed and said, "I have no idea what happened. That was terrifying"
"You were having a panic attack" She said sitting next to me on the bed
"And you kissed me?" I asked confused
"Yes, I'm sorry. It's just that nothing else was pulling you out of the panic attack and I thought it might enough to help"
"It did, thank you" I said enjoying the peace and quiet in my head