Chapter 11

                                    

                                          
"You did?"
"Yes. I think it took me a while to fully realise it but I did", she confessed.
"What do you mean it took you a while? I knew right away. Don't people know those things?"
"Yes and no. I...for the longest time I thought maybe I just wanted to love you because you were the first person who was nice to me. That bothered getting to know me. Maybe I saw you as a way to escape. I don't know".
"I think I understand".
She nodded, thankful for his attempt to make sense of her rambles.
"But seeing you again proved to me it wasn't that. When I saw you at that shopping centre...it was like I woke up from a dream or something. I felt happy. Truly happy because I could have you in my life again. And I didn't feel that for Freddie. Or anyone else. It's just you that makes me feel that".
"Is it love, though?"
She had to laugh at that.
"What do you think it could be? To not see you for 10 years and still think about you every day? To only feel like I can really be myself when I'm with you? To know I can trust you in all senses of the word? What is that? Because I've never felt it for anyone else so I'm pretty sure it's love".
Julián took Natalia's hands and she just kept on getting closer to him until their noses were touching. Until the distance between their lips was almost non-existent.
"No", he said, closing his eyes.
"No?"
She let go of his hands and moved back.
"Ok...fine. I don't love you and you don't love me and we are wasting this opportunity. Cool. Fantastic!"
"Natalia, stop talking. I don't mean that".
"Then what do you mean?"
"You have a boyfriend", he reminded her.
"But I don't love him. I love you".
"And I love you, you idiot!"
Hearing him finally say that was all she needed to go back to trying to kiss him, but he stopped her again.
"I'm not kissing you while you have a boyfriend. I've waited 10 years to do this and I'm doing it right".
"You're right", and he really was. She was not the type to cheat. She needed to do this right. Freddie deserved that.
But none of them moved.
"Please go, Natalia. I can only be a gentleman for so long".
She chuckled at that and kissed his cheek quickly before leaving. The next time she saw him, he'll be truly hers.
**
"Nat, should we order food? I don't feel like cooking?"
"I'm not hungry".
Hearing the way her voice sounded, Freddie turned to look at her.
"Are you ok? Not trying to sound mean, because you'll always be beautiful, but you don't look so great. And I know you haven't been sleeping well either. You can...you can talk to me, Natalia".
She took the hand he was offering, knowing this was going to be the hardest part. 
"We need to break up".
"Why?"
"You know why, Freddie. I'm so sorry. You really won't understand how sorry I am".
He let go of her hand to move back. To get away from her. 
"Did you do it?", she could hear the tears in his voice.
"Did I do what?"
"Cheat on me".
"No. That's why I'm ending this. To do things right. You don't deserve to be lied to and I can't start a relationship with a betrayal".
"I don't believe you".
Natalia closed her eyes. He had every right to not believe her but it hurt. It hurt that he thought her capable of doing all the wrong things.
"Maybe you can't now but with time, you'll be able to see I'm trying to hurt you as little as possible".
"Did you ever love me?"
"I did".
"But you love him more".
"It's not a competition, Freddie".
"Yet there is a loser".
"It's different types of love. There is no point in comparing them".
He seemed to have calmed down a bit but he still refused to look at Natalia.
"When City announced his signing, I knew I didn't stand a chance".
"Fred...".
"My only hope was that he had turned into an asshole or that your memory of him was wrong and you somehow fell out of love with him but...yeah, I wasn't that lucky".
"I'm sorry".
"Please leave. I need to be alone right now. Go back to him. Why wait any longer?"
"Are you going to be ok?"
He finally looked up at her and she felt even worse than before. The heartbreak could be seen all over his face.
"I'll have to be".