Chapter 36

                                    

                                          
Bright agreed with Sammy, Win is a treasure to keep but he's also in the wrong body for him. If Win have been a woman, he would have claimed Win a long time ago. Win genuinely make him smile, how he haven't laugh in years. Win is probably smarter than him Plus he's beautiful and handsome at the same time, funny and sweet. Win makes him feel good about himself, makes him feel at peace. Win makes him feel so many things that words are not enough to describe. Suddenly Sammy broke the thought of her brother asking cheekily "Daydreaming?". Bright realize that he zoned out for a minute as he replied "Thinking". Sammy didn't let go as she ask curiously "About?". Bright sigh hard in return, his expression turned into a sad and heartbreak. Sammy grabs Bright hand in her and she softly said in her honest voice "Bro, You look miserable and I'm not just talking about your looks. I've never seen you so low and hurting. What's wrong?. This look like you're in heart break. I've been there once. Now please talk to me. I want to help". She nods and urge Bright to tell her but Bright fear is so big that he unwantedly pulled back and raise his walls. 
He stayed silent for a moment, his heart covered with guilt, not explaining his sister that she's maybe right that he's hurting. He's feeling guilty for lying himself about Win even though he's not sure what those  lies are. He just so scared and not ready to seperate or accept the truth from those lies. He'd rather prefer not to dwell and find out what his heart actually want. But just maybe... Maybe if he talk to his sister, he'd find a solution to his problem. He doesn't have to tell Sammy that he's talking about a man. Bright started in low voice "Okay I met someone but we can't be together. It'll never work out. We both are from two different world. I can't... It's sucks. I wish the circumstances were different. But they're not. We can't change them I'm not....I can't be one of.... I'm normal... I'm ...fuck".   Bright felt like a three year old kid, who can't explain what he wants but trying his best as much as possible. He felt like oxygen deprived as he started taking a deep breath feeling helpless for not able to ask his own sister what he wants even at the age of thirty. Sammy question carefully "Money is not the problem. You know that, how we were living in small house. We don't choose who we love. Now you have enough money to even build a harem for yourself so what's the problem?".
Bright was not sure how to answer to that he explained "It's not about money. We're from different ... Different..... I can't change.... No .. I'm normal Sam. I'm not one of them".  Bright tried to explain earnestly and desperately that somehow his sister understand him and give a solution. But he also tried Sammy won't get the idea that he's talking about being one of Gay. Sammy question her brother in begging tone "What do you mean by normal, Bright?. I don't get it. Please tell me Why do you have to change?. See if .... She ask you to change then she can go and fuck herself. If she loves you she'll accept you as your are. On the contrary if she genuinely loves you, she will accept you with all your flaws. And when two people love each other they automatically change for each other without realizing it and become a better person because of each other, for each other". After hearing Bright wasn't feeling any guilty for not telling Sammy that he's talking about a Man. Because his sister already assume that Bright is talking about some woman. But he couldn't ignore what she said about accepting each other flaws. 
Win does make him want to be a better person. He makes Bright feel good about himself even though Win knows his flaws, he still put up with him and not just because of the paycheck. Obviously Bright pay him more than any other PA will get paid in the whole country. And Win was kind of a guy that he won't let anyone walk over himself unless he wants to, he'd have leave if Bright long before if he was really unbearable to him. Back to Win, he does make him smile and Make him feels very happy in a strange way when he spend time with him, but he can't be with him, he can't give Win what he deserves. Bright's let out a groan "Argh it's so complicated. If we get together I'd loose everything. Not just company my reputation even you... And Our family?". Sammy look confused then horrified as she ask "Is she a serial killer? . Bright look at Sammy he pause for moment and answer with straight face "No". Sammy ask again "Some alien or vampire?". Bright chukled and replied "No Sam". She again ask "Got it, she's Terrorist?". Bright conscience interrupted 'like brother, like sister'.
Bright laugh and shake his head informing "No Sam.... You know what. I've never met such an amazing person in my whole life. So beautiful, gorgeous, inside out selfless, kind, amazing , smart,  gentle, attentive, patient, did I mention breathtakingly beautiful with gold plated skin, deep azure eyes I can get lost in them for years. Silky smooth black hair and lips that crafted by God himself. A body... Damn Perfect. The person is magical... Fucking magical from head to toe". After announcing a series of qualities Bright tried to find any flaw but there was none. And a smile crept on his face. As he said earlier God made Win and placed him on earth to make the world better place. Sammy giggles hearing his brother "This is the biggest wide smile I've ever saw on your face. I'm so happy you found someone like that. But I still don't understand one thing if she's so perfect than why you can't be with her?". Sammy genuinely look confused and Bright don't want to blame his sister. But it's frustrating as he said "Because she's not perfect... She's.... Not.... Fuck. Let it Sam. It's useless ... Pointless... I ... I can't do anything about it. We can't get together. But shit... It's hurt". His voice broke while trying his best to maintain calm. He felt some ugly mixed feeling of  dull, sad, helpless in his heart. 
It was so painful and hurting but he doesn't want to cry. Bright felt so tired like he ran a marathon. A fucking marathon where he want get to his destination, to reach Win. Bright suddenly realized that just the thought of Win make him calmed down. He doesn't realize when his sister sat on his lap, rubbing his back soothingly saying "There you go.....breath bro.... Take a deep Breath". Bright did take few deep breaths as he mumble as if assuring more to himself "I'm fine.. I'm fine.. it's Okay... I'm okay". Sammy was looking at Bright sympathetically but at the moment Bright doesn't wanted that, he wanted someone who look at him sweetly. Win look at him sweetly. Sammy look into his brother's red and puffy eyes, she cupped his cheek and stated "I don't know what this is all about. But whatever it is I'm here for you. I'll always be. No matter what. I swear. I will always love you and I hate seeing you like this. And believe me if you're happy I'm happy too. I'd accept even a serial killer, alien and Terrorist if that brings you happiness. You heard me. I don't care who she is as long as she makes you happy". 
The tip of Bright's tongue began to itch to tell his sister the truth, the idea was too appealing to tell her now that he's having a strong feeling for a man but I'm straight. Who will believe him. If anyone have that kind of feeling towards a man than you're gay. But Bright Chavaree is not gay. He's not even bi. He's straight and who doesn't believe they can go to hell. Even after Sammy nice speech Bright couldn't able to bring himself to tell her the truth. He breath out nodding "Okay I'll think about it". Sammy pressed a kiss on her brother's forehead and smile saying "Good. Now how about this Saturday we go out . There's a new club and heard it's awesome". Bright appreciate that his sister didn't pressed a topic more, he agreed to go anyway maybe he might be dead from dehydration after doing all the stupid crying. Later Sammy started talking about this and that But Bright mind was thinking about what his sister said about him falling in love. Bright was sure it's not love. He cares for Win, genuinely but does Win care for him genuinely like he do or it's just his guilt. But Win did cried that night in the hotel room when they talk about his past. And not to forget the way Win looks at him, even a blind person can see that Win cares for him more than just a piece of hot meat. 
Eventually Bright went back to his home and make himself a glass of whiskey. Hoping to feel better. And soon Bright's phone started ringing and when he checked, his heart stop beating, but Bright was so fast to answer the call like his life was depends on it.  He didn't let it fully ring even and answered "Win". Then he  started praying that Win doesn't notice his excitement. Win pause as if he forgets why he made a call or trying to find a genuine excuse of calling him "umm... Yes.. I called because.... I can't find the Sparks file". Bright can't help but smile so hard that he felt his jaw will crack. Because he knows the fact that Win knows where the file is. Now Bright was hundred percent sure Win miss him as well. 
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