17. it ends the way it ends.

                                    

                                          








HOLDING A SHARD OF THE BROKEN MIRROR UP TO HIS FACE, Ralph was making little to no progress right now. Every time he almost had swiped a spot clean, he would end up jolting the mirror somehow and was back to square one. It didn't help that the shard was ragged and the corners kept digging into his palm and drawing blood, even though Ralph had already seen his fair share of blood for tonight.
It was weird to think it was even possible, but, Ralph almost didn't recognize himself when he first picked up that piece of shattered, cracked mirror. His hair was longer, his beard was slowly growing in again, and aside from the obvious fact that he was drenched in blood, he just looked... Different. Something that he couldn't even put his finger on, even though he was himself.
Ralph was scrubbing his neck raw when there was a knock on the door.
'I got berries.' Joel said from outside the bathroom, his voice close, standing directly in front of the door like he already knew he was going to be invited in. With a sigh, Ralph pushed himself off of the grimy counter he was leaning on and unlocked the door with a click, quickly returning to his task even as Joel shuffled into the small space and closed the door behind him.
Ralph looked a little bit better now. There was still a long way to go, but some areas had been cleaned. His neck was, for the most part, not a splotchy mess of crimson red anymore, and it was clear he had tried to wipe most of it off his shirt, but his face was still coated in it and it was drying up on his wrists and cementing itself into the wrinkles on his hands.
Joel wet his lips, thinking carefully about what to say next. He didn't want to say something that might upset Ralph, despite him looking anything but upset right now. He mostly looked disgusted, but not because of what he had done, because of the aftermath of it.
'Here.' Joel said. Ralph turned around to see him holding out his hand to give him maybe ten or eleven berries. Not a lot, but it was Ralph's fair share of the last of their stock. Ralph picked up the berries and poured them all into his mouth in one go, making Joel laugh a little bit. Ralph gave him a small smile as he chewed, continuing to face Joel because there was clearly an ulterior motive for him coming in here. '...Henry and Sam are coming with us. To Wyoming. That cool?'
'That's cool.' Ralph said quietly, nodding his head once to agree with it. Joel looked at him, moving to stand in front of him, and studied his dirtied face and smudged hands. It was awful to think about in this scenario, but red was a really nice color on Ralph. Ralph raised his eyebrows. 'Was that everything?'
Joel reached down and took the bloodied towel from Ralph's hand, letting their fingers rest against each other for a moment, before he brought his hand up and began to swipe gently at Ralph's cheekbone, cleaning it for him.
Ralph relaxed against the counter, his back against it as Joel stood in front of him and kept him there, caring for him like he was something fragile, afraid of breaking him. Joel reached up and placed his hand loosely on Ralph's jaw, turning his head to the right. Ralph let him do it, obeyed silently. It took maybe three or four minutes before Joel began to talk.
'Do you want to talk about it?' Joel said quietly, his voice almost a whisper. It felt like, if he spoke normally, it would ruin the moment. Shatter the quietness and make someone come and bang on the door to hurry them up. Joel didn't want that. He wanted to stay like this for as long as he could.
'No.' Ralph muttered back, his eyes falling onto the disgusting bathtub behind Joel, and then he looked at Joel. He never realized how close they were. He was sure it didn't start off like this. Maybe Joel was the one leaning forward, or maybe Ralph was, or maybe they were both doing it together and hoping that the other wouldn't notice. Joel looked back at Ralph with his heart in his throat.