19

                                    

                                          
Jon's POV 
I decided to head back home even though I didn't really wanted to go back yet or ever again. Still I slowly made my way back with something that felt like a knot in stomach. 
More clouds were forming in the sky, almost completely covering the sky up and making my surrounding more difficult to see. Then I heard it, a thunder that was so sudden that I flinched when I heard the sound of it. And like this not even a minute later I could feel some raindrops hitting my body. It was raining, firstly the rain was light and not many raindrops were falling, but then it fully on rained down to a point where even puddles were forming around me.
My clothes were already soaked wet after not even five minutes and I was feeling cold, but even this couldn't push me to walk faster to my home that doesn't actually felt like a home to me anymore. My pace stayed the same, slow steps as I was soonly approaching the front door. I was mentally preparing myself to get yelled at or being laughed at for being so pathetic by not even being able to end my own life, but thankfully none of this happened.
I reached the door, knocked at it because I didn't had taken a key with me and waited until someone would open the door. I expected that Eduardo would have come downstairs to open the door, but I was wrong. Mark opend the door and examinated me with his eyes. I could see that he was somehow shocked and confused about my appearance, but what stood out the most was that he seemed to be concerned about me. I couldn't understand why he would care about me.
"Oh Jon, what were you doing outside there for so long? Your clothes are completely soaked." He asked me while sounding concerned. "Uhm....I just went for a walk and I was already far away when I noticed the sudden change in the weather." I explained to him. It seemed as if he hasn't read the letter yet, so I assume that Eduardo also hadn't took a glance in my room and spotted this. At least one embarrassment less I suppose.
"Going on a walk for six hours alone is something very unusual of you. You are acting strange Jon, since the situation with the dishwasher you haven't been behaving like yourself." He pointed out with suspicion written all over his face. I froze and tried to get my thoughts right, to find the right words so that I could convince him from the opposite. 
"What are you talking about? I am not behaving any different from before." I said with a nervous smile and hoped that Mark would take this as a sign that there isn't anything to be suspicion about and thankfully he took it in and let me go. "Fine if you say so. Now go and change your clothes so that you don't get sick, Alright?" He ordered me. I nodded and walked upstairs in my room and did what Mark wanted from me. I took of my clothes and froze when I saw that the gauzes on my arms were all wet and lose from all the rain. I had to change them otherwise the cuts could get infected.
Then I remembered again the note that I left on my bed and turned my head to see if it was still there in which to my surprise it still was there laid down perfectly on my bed sheet as if nobody has ever touched it because nobody bothered to take a glance at it. I wasn't mad at this, I should have known that this was just a waste of time, that nobody would care enough about me if I was suddenly gone for six hours and that I wouldn't be able to finish what I started. 
I took the letter that I made, crumbled it up and threw it away in the bin that I had in my room. After this I continued taking of my wet clothes and putting on some dry ones and threw away my wet and blood stained gauzes while I was doing so, since there wasn't a use to wearing them anymore, I had to replace them. I walked into the bathroom and locked the door, here I was again facing myself in the Mirror while being in despair.