13

                                    

                                          
The whole car ride was silent other than the music that was playing gently through the speakers. I didn't really know what to say, my head was running that one line over and over. Does she know she said it? God, I hate this.
It was nearly 11 pm and we pulled up to a pizza place. I wasn't even hungry anymore. I couldn't think about anything else let alone eating. We got out and just as we did Bil pulled up. So we waited by the entrance. I looked over at Kendall she was fiddling with her fingers. I don't want to make her uncomfortable by unintentionally giving her the silent treatment. Hopefully, Bil can break the awkward silence between us.
I was brought out of my trance when I heard the car door shut. "Hey, Bil" I greeted her with our handshake. I then greeted Camila. "Hi, how are you" engulfing her in a hug. "I'm good how are you?" She replied. "I'm doing good thanks" I pulled away and stepped back next to Ken. "This is Kendall" I introduced her to the pair. Even though Bil has met her before it's only ever been briefly. They all said their hello's and we headed inside the restaurant.
When we were inside we found a table and sat down. I went next to Bil and opposite Ken. There's that awkward silence. Bil knew something was up instantly. "So guys how did we find the movie?" Oh Bil I thank you for breaking the silence but we didn't watch the film. "eh yeah it was good, Ken loved it didn't you?" I blushed. My mind rewinding to earlier. "It was good, one of my favorite ways to have seen it by far." She replied looking at Bil. They carried on their conversation about the film.
The waiter came over and we ordered some drinks. "So Camila how's the music industry going for you?" I asked her. "It's going well thank you, I've got a few bits lined up that are ready to come out. But they're not quite ready yet." "Well that's good, I'm glad you're making some progress I loved the first album," I said taking a sip of my drink. "Thanks y/n/n it was a long time coming but it was worth it." "Not a problem and if you ever need any help with anything you can come by the studio I'm sure I can help you out. Same for Bil I am the mastermind behind some of her work" I chuckled. "Shut up y/s/n you know it's all equal when we're in there" Bil chirped
Our waiter come over again and we ordered our food. I carried on my conversation with Camila and Bil she was extremely interesting. Her life in the band was wild. I took myself out of their conversation and averted my attention to Kendall. She was playing with her rings looking everywhere but at me or our company. I nudged her leg under the table to get her to look at me.
We made eye contact and she gave me a gentle nod as if she knew I was asking her if she was okay. I offered a poor excuse of a smile as a response. She then excused herself to go to the bathroom. "Dude what's up with her she's usually said something by now," Bil asked. "Right so don't say anything but erm during the film we obviously had sex and as she was about to finish she told me she loves me, I love you came from her mouth and now I don't know how to feel because I don't know if she meant to say it or she didn't. Or even if she realized she even said it" I rambled. "Chill y/n/n chill. We could tell something was off because you weren't eye fucking each other like you usually do. God, I even had to warn Mila about the pair of you. But when we got here you were the complete opposite I looked like an idiot. But in all seriousness, I think you just need to talk to her. She clearly said it because she meant it even if it was a heat of the moment thing." There's something about Bil's wise words of reasoning that calm me down.
As I went to reply Bil coughed and nodded to signal she was on her way back. "Just chill y/s/n I'm sure it's nothing you just gotta talk you know that" She reassured me. As Kendall sat down our food arrived. Perfect timing.
Kendall POV
When I sat down I could tell they were talking about it making me feel even more awkward than I already do. When I went to the bathroom I phoned Gigi because I didn't know what else to do. She told me I need to speak to her about it when we're both in a position to because something like this can't be left unsaid. I mean I don't even know why I said it.
We dug into our pizza but my head was whirling. I couldn't even eat and I guess y/n couldn't either she was forcing it down her. She engrossed herself back in conversation with Billie and Camila. I just watched her, every word she spoke, every movement she made I was in awe of her. I was in love with her. That is a big realization for me. I've never been in love with anyone before. I chipped in the conversation where needed to make it slightly less awkward. I just wish I'd got off on the right foot with them where I'm myself. But no I had to fuck it up and tell her I love her. Fuck knows what she's thinking right now.
We finished eating and y/n paid the bill as always more money than sense for that girl. She's never let me pay for a thing. We made our way to the cars and said our goodbyes. Just as I was about to get in the car I heard Billie say something to y/n. "All you can do is talk about it. I love you so much dickhead" They pulled apart from their hug. She said bye to Camila and made her way for the car. Here it goes.
She got in, and started Rover, not a word said. She was driving so erratically as we hit the main roads. I hate it when she drives like this because it's not that I feel unsafe but it only takes someone else to clip her and we're done. We hit the freeway doing over 100mph. I love her passion for fast cars but sometimes I wish she didn't. We got into the basement of her apartment block and went up to the top floor.
She unlocked the door and let herself in, me following behind her. Still, not a word was said to each other. She threw her keys to the side which isn't normal for her usually they go in their place. She opened the fridge grabbing her water bottle. Something doesn't add up here why is she annoyed all of a sudden?
I needed to break the silence. "Are you going to talk to me or are we just going to ignore each other?" I just stood by the front door. She made her way to the bedroom completely ignoring me. That only wound me up. So I followed her, she was getting changed into some shorts and a t-shirt. "Where are you going?" I spat. She walked straight passed me not even looking at me.
She was testing me now. She picked up the Audi keys instead of Rovers. Rover is the only car I can't drive. As she went to walk out the door I moved in front of her. She's not running away from this. "I don't think so," I said. "You're not leaving" I moved in front of the door. She huffed and stood back. "Kendall let me go please" She pleaded. I'm not going to budge. "Well talk to me then and I'll let you go" I bargained.
"I don't want to talk, I just want to leave go to the gym and then go for a drive" She replied with an annoyed tone. "And you think that's fair do you, just fucking off out and leaving the situation?" I retorted. "No y/n no it's not it's out of order." She didn't say anything she tried to walk past me again.
"Whatever Kendall just move." She grabbed my shoulder and moved me out of the way. I let her go. I wasn't going to get through. Once the door shut I broke down. I fell to the floor and just sobbed.