Hopping and Hoping

                                    

                                          
"Dad! You'll NEVER guess!" Jamie hopped up and down on the spot as he shouted across the carpark to his father.  Tom had been fifteen minutes late - today of all days - in picking him up.  The voiceover session had lasted just a bit longer than they anticipated but it had to be finished off today.  The consolation was he could take Jamie to the premier seeing as it was for a kids' film.  Now he had more pressing matters though. Dealing with the aftermath of this morning.
"Really? Well, if I'll never guess, you might as well tell me" he laughed as he reached his son, pulling him into a hug. "Sorry I'm late" he said over his head to Jenny.
"It's quite ok, I understand completely" she didn't quite look at him, instead concentrated on the excited bundle of seven year old now squirming away from Tom. "I think he's about to burst!" she laughed.
"Dad!  Mrs Bennet said my picture was amazing and she's going to put it on the school website and she said I can tell everyone at the next assembly about my day on the set and I can be at the auction and Miss Grey will be able to write a big cheque and that you are a STAR!" it all came out in a breathless rush, ending with a huge breath out.  His little face was pink with excitement and eyes shining.
Jenny and Tom forgot to be awkward long enough to smile and laugh with each other at his innocent enthusiasm.  Tom ruffled the little boy's hair. "I'm so pleased for you JJ" Jenny shot him a look as she heard the name but said nothing, "now, you hop into the car and I'll be along in a minute.  I need to ask Miss Grey something ok?" he gave him a gentle shove towards the car and Jamie just smiled.
"Ok Dad! Bye Miss Grey!" was the cheery reply as he, quite literally, hopped all the way to the car.  Tom and Jenny burst out laughing again as they watched.  
"That boy is far too sharp for his own good" Tom remarked good naturedly. For a moment they both watched as Jamie climbed into the car and put his seat belt on. He waved and they waved back, turning away to each other, the atmosphere cooling noticeably.
"You wanted to speak to me Tom?" she said quietly, calmly.  Was this going to be a talk about boundaries?  About professionalism?  About moving Jamie to another class? Her heart raced and her palms were clammy, but not in way she'd come to experience lately when she was alone with Tom.
For his part, Tom had absolutely no idea what he wanted to say to her.  It had been an excuse to get her on her own, see where the land lay.  If she was offended by his lack of warmth  that morning.  If she wanted to still be friends.
"Err, so." he began to think on his feet. "I was wondering , I mean, do you..." he stammered and looked decidedly awkward.
Jenny felt his unease and tried to prompt him into whatever it was.  He didn't SEEM angry, he seemed, well, nervous. "What is it Tom?  If there's something bothering you... something you want to say..." she held an inward breath.  Could he actually be about to apologise?  Could he be feeling he'd messed up too and he wanted to try and be on hugging terms?  Whatever it was, good or bad, she just wanted it over with.  This - whatever this was - was agonisingly painful for both of them.
"No, no" he smiled in a strained way, still no idea what to say that didn't include 'hug me now'.  "I err was just wondering if you..." he looked at her then at his feet, then the car then back to her.  GET ON WITH IT his mind screamed. "If you had the date of the auction yet?  So I can make sure my calendar stays free."   Inwardly he groaned. What the hell Hiddleston, he chided himself. You are SUCH a coward.
"Oh, oh right." she was crushed. No apology, no explanation, no acknowledgment of any kind.  Just work. "Yes,  yes of course, it's the first Saturday in June - I can't remember the exact date but I have it written down somewhere." her voice was clear and steady but her mind - and her heart - were in turmoil.  Dammit Jenny, she thought.  You spoiled it all.  From somewhere inside she heard a voice - her voice - "W-would you like to come inside while I look? I can probably rustle up some tea too?"
Tom looked at her, was she offering an olive branch?  Did she realise he truly had no way to say what he really wanted to?  Or was she just being polite because she knew they had to be in contact for the rest of the term?  Then he remembered with a start - DENTIST! Jamie had the dentist at 4.30.  SHIT SHIT SHIT she'd think it was an excuse!  
"I'm so sorry, but I really have to go.  JJ has the dentist.  I don't tell him so he doesn't get worked up.  I know, it's the cowards way out, what can I say - I'm a coward!" he shrugged and hoped she got the message.
"Oh. Right. Of course, no problem. I'll send a note home with JJ if I don't see you in the next couple of days." she wrapped her arms around herself, keeping a physical distance between them to emphasise to his he was quite safe from another attack of hugging. "See you later then."
"Yes, later." Tom stood awkwardly for a second, unsure how to leave things, then turned and walked away.  As he left, his natural instinct was to turn and see if she was looking, but he was afraid.  If she wasn't he would be crushed.
Jenny watched him walk away.  Please turn round she begged in her mind, please.  Turn round and wave or smile or better yet come back and hug me?  But he didn't, he got in the car and drove away.  She was back inside the school before Tom could see her cry.
"What did you and Miss Grey talk about?" Jamie asked brightly "Anything exciting?"
"No son, I just needed to ask her something." Tom tried to sound casual.
"And did you Dad?" 
"No JJ, I didn't" he couldn't keep the regret out of his voice.  
"aww Dad you ARE silly!" Jamie looked at him, head on one side and a smile on his face. Tom's heart lurched, there was that look again.
"Yes, I do believe I am."  He said softly as they headed to the dentist. His mind was filled with excuses and regret. He had to try and make it right.  He had to let her see she was a friend.  That she was HIS friend and that he really, really, wanted a hug.  Right bloody now.