XXVIII

                                    

                                          
Pausing just outside the door to Noor's chambers, Prem let out a long exhale to calm himself. The moment he had been dreading all day had come. He was going to face Noor. He was finally going to reveal the news of their son to her. Yet somehow, he couldn't bring himself to nod at the guards to open her door. He stared at the ground over a racing heartbeat. It had taken a day and half of insanity ridden organization of thoughts and emotions within him to arrive at that moment. And he had used every ounce of the courage inside him to walk up to her chambers. Telling himself he couldn't back down now, he faced the guards at last. Before he could gesture for the door to be opened, however, a voice entered his ears.
"Bhaji...can I talk to you?" Heer's rushed words offered a blessed distraction to his anxiety driven mind.
Taking a moment to compose himself, Prem turned to her. "Heer, I'm a little busy right now but we can sit down in the evening."
"It's urgent, I'm afraid." Heer insisted.
"Is everything okay?" Prem asked her in concern.
"Yes, but this can't wait." Heer told him.
"I also was going to discuss a pretty urgent matter with Noor..." He began only to be interrupted by Heer.
"I know you're going to tell her about Zora." Heer said impatiently. "I've already done that once. We need to talk."
Prem's eyebrows shot up and he stared at her shock. "You've...already told her?"
"Yes, years ago." Heer shook her head. "Please come." She requested beginning to walk. Prem expectedly followed her in state of stunned confusion.
"You know about Zora?" Prem asked her as soon as they were seated in a secluded room.
"I do." Heer sighed. "I found out about him two years ago on accident. I was furious with my mother for keeping such a secret from didi and rebelled. Without telling anyone, I took off to find didi in her palace. When she had a moment of free time, I took the opportunity and cried the news out to her. She listened to me in wide eyes and then suddenly passed out." Heer nervously rubbed together her hands as Prem's concentrated eyes simply watched her in confusion.
"I had no idea what had happened." Heer shrugged. "I called the royal physician and he said there was nothing wrong. But didi simply wouldn't wake up. She was out for hours. Luckily Dogri chose to visit the palace that day and she insisted on seeing the Queen that very hour. The guards tried to send her away but when she refused to leave, I was informed of her obstinance of seeing the Queen. I remembered the impact she had on didi during the war so I let her into the Queen's chambers. She chanted a mantra and prepared a solution at didi's bedside. When I asked her what was wrong, she yelled at me in all of her fury for sending the Queen into a shock. For being inconsiderate of her traumas and overstepping to reveal that which destiny itself wishes to keep hidden. Bhaji, I have never been as terrified as I was in the moment of anything in my life. Dogri eventually opened didi's mouth and dripped into her lips the solution she had prepared. Didi woke up in the moments that followed but to my astonishment, she had absolutely no recollection of our conversation that led her to pass out. It was as if her mind completely wiped out the conversation about Zora. I have not had the courage to approach her with the same news ever since."
Prem stared at Heer in a sheer loss of words. His overtly nervous condition suddenly made sense. Even though his mind worked out the logic of how he would reveal the news to Noor, the overwhelming physical hesitancy he had felt was now justified. He could it feel in his very bones. When it came to Noor, he could always feel it when something was off.
"What do you suggest we do?" Prem asked Heer at last.
"I have no idea." Heer shook her head. "I just know that she carries too many traumas from the war in her mind. Those traumas are triggered in very unexpected ways and her body tends to shut down in response. Last time, it took Dogri to bring her back. This time, with you in front of her eyes, God knows what will be triggered in her mind and how far her body will go to cope. We don't even have Dogri right now. I just think telling her straight up as I did is not a mistake worth repeating. We should ease into it. Maybe introduce Zora as someone else first. Let her become accustomed to his presence. And then slowly, step by step, reveal his real identity."
Prem nodded. "I agree. Something inside me was just not ready to go to her."
"I'm just glad I caught you before you were able to go in." Heer gratefully folded her hands. 
"How did you know Zora is here?" Prem curiously asked.
Heer eyed him. "I was...sitting with Kabir and..."
"Sitting with Kabir...huh?" An amused smile took over Prem's lips.
"No, no!" Heer immediately denied. "I was just passing by and he invited me to have tea. That's when I saw Rajjo passing by and I was obviously shocked out of my wits to see her here so I tracked her down." 
Prem nodded at her. "Send a summon to Dogri...will you? I have some questions of my own that I need answered from her."