lotus eater

                                    

                                          
{"Just waiting around
For someone to take you home
And I know you know I'm not the one"}
★ LORELAI ★
September 14th
1997
"And then we have to rush back to New York for the album shoot, and not even twenty-four hours later be in Maine for the show that night. Don't even get me started on all the articles reaching out for a press interview. Paparazzi are always on our ass these days, and my dad is slowly slipping into insanity-"
"Mhm... Yeah... Really?" I mumble into the phone, honestly not really paying attention to what Faye is rambling about. 
"Are you even listening?" 
"What-Y-Yeah! Of course." Faye is silent on the other line, waiting for me to give up on my bullshit. "No, I wasn't. Sorry! I'm just really stressed right now." 
"What are you even doing right now?" 
"I'm at a convenience store right now... More specifically the pregnancy test aisle." 
"Oh shit. Yeah, ignore me all you want, that is definitely more important," She laughs. 
"There's so many options, it's making this worse."
"Just grab one!" 
I blindly reach my hand out and snatch a random box, holding it down by my side as I rush to the checkout. There's a small line of people waiting, my foot anxiously tapping against the floor watching the worker scan everyone's items extremely slowly. 
"I'm gonna go insane waiting in this line," I mutter quietly into the phone. 
"I have to go soon, but you have to keep me updated!" 
"Believe me, if it's positive, I'm fleeing the country and you'll never hear from me again." 
"Well, what about Harry?"
"I'll send him a letter."
"Y'know, he hasn't stopped talking about you since you called him the other night. Not that you as a topic was ever not his main conversation point." 
"What's he saying?" 
"Oh, you know, the usual. Gushing about you coming back, planning special things for when you're here, all that." Her words make my heart burst and my stomach turn. 
"I really need this test to be negative." 
"Me too! I can't have my best friend just up and disappearing!" 
"Where are you guys going tonight anyways?"
"Just some bar to celebrate the finishing of the second album." 
"Ahh," I sigh. "Well get plastered on my behalf!" 
"Y'know I will," She cackles loudly. "I'll call you tomorrow, love you!" 
"Love you, bye!" 
We hang up the phone just as I am next in line. The cashier behind the counter sends me a warm smile as I approach. I watch as the older woman's face contorts to a look of empathy when I set the small box of pregnancy tests down on the counter, along with a few snacks to comfort me in case of a breakdown. 
"Nervous?" Her high pitched voice squeaks. 
"Very," I sigh with a smile. 
"Good thing or bad?" She keeps the conversation going, her demeanor oddly comforting.