CHAPTER 6: A Fit of Terror

                                    

                                          
His feet were glued in place, and his legs were stiff. He had no control or say over any motor movements, and hearing what Zane had to say wasn't an option either. His eyes darted, as if he were looking around but he hadn't been. The black that began to cover his sight, only scared him more. 'you're being dramatic! Get a hold of yourself! This isn't about you. It's about Cole. Stop being so selfish!!' He thought . Stiffly, his hands rose to his neck, which made their way to his face. His hands shook so violently he couldn't do anything. He reached for his ears covering them, as to block himself from hearing his own thoughts. "Hehe.. you're supposed to be the confident guy. Ya know, the chill dude. The flirty guy? Kai, snap out of it!" Jay yelled, in attempts to reach him."I'm worried he's going to pass out" Zane said quietly, giving Kai a bit more of a shake. "Come on. We need to get you inside. Or at least for you to breath. Just focus on that. Nothing else. Okay? If you fall, we right here for you." Zane explained to Kai, rubbing his arm somewhat. 
"Kai please" Lloyd whispered. Panic grew as Lloyd immediately ran off to go look for Nya. Hoping she would know what to do. Meanwhile, Nya stood outside the bedroom door, "can I at least talk to you?... I don't want you to feel this way! Let me help, Cole. Please." There was silence, before the sound of footsteps and then the door opened and Cole peeked out. Tears still on his face, his face was still warm to the touch. "What do you even want to say. There was already enough said. I know how he feels. I'm not normal. He probably doesn't even want me on the team. He's probably telling everyone that I kissed him-" he paused. Making a face of disgust before turning away to lean against the wall. "My dad was right about me" 
Nya lightly pushed the door open, and walked in hugging him. "There's nothing wrong with you Cole...You're perfect the way you are. The only thing that is wrong is the understanding of some people. Don't think he doesn't want you here.." she spoke softly. "You said it yourself, Nya. He finds gay people wrong!" His body tensed more when she hugged him. Seeming as if he disliked the physical contact. "There's clearly something wrong with me because I'm gay. It's the opposite of what Kai wants to be around." Tears were starting to form again. He was so frustrated with himself. He felt so stupid for how he felt.   She slowly released Cole, feeling him tense up. "There's nothing wrong with being gay, love is love no matter what. You're not wrong for that. Kai is wrong not to communicate his actual feelings. I can tell you this much... When I sat in the room with him, there was something deeper there. I don't believe he meant to hurt you. And you don't have to forgive him at all. But, you don't have to project hate on yourself... it won't do any good to hurt yourself."


       As Kai stood in place, he spoke in a shaken whisper, almost mouthing the words, "it's fine..it doesn't matter." He repeated himself many times in different tones, like he was trying to convince himself. "It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter..., it doesn't matter! It doesn't- " He took a large gasp before lifting his head, and looking to Zane, who he perceived as a threat. There was zero logic in his head, all he knew was that he'd messed up. He tried pulling away from Zane, before pushing against him to get free of his grasp. Doing so, he succeeded, falling backwards. Out of panic, Zane grabbed his coat, gripping it tightly so he couldn't fall back anymore. "Calm down, Kai! Just breathe! It's me. It's Zane. I'm your friend. You're safe".  Jay stood there, not knowing how to help the situation. He just stood in shock, with a concerned expression painted on his face. Kai had shifted his breathing to a fast, shallow pattern. Still shaking, as tears ran down his face. To say he was scared was an understatement. He wasn't scared of how angry Cole was, but that he had potentially lost his best friend. Zane slowly tried to help Kai sit down on the ground of the deck. "Take a deep breath. Relax. You're really going to make yourself pass out" he explained, sitting down beside him, ready to catch him if he did pass out. "Look at me, okay? I'm here for you Kai". His fear quickly switched to anger towards himself as he sat there. He was so mad he'd turned the situation to reflect himself. Everyone had always said he was selfish, and now he truly saw it. His muscles tensed and his fists tightened.   Kai was holding his head, grabbing his hair. He wanted control over something, anything, in the moment. He began to scratch at himself which Jay jumped in to stop. He grabbed Kai's wrists and held them out away from himself. "He's not stoping~" Jay said through his teeth. "Kai no" Zane said, his tone getting a bit more stern. "I need you to look at me. I know you can. Focus on your breathing and look at me." He tried to calm down but even he was starting to get worried.  "It's going to be okay.."
  Jay kneeled there holding Kai's wrists, trying to keep them away from his body. "He's strong- I'll give him that-" Jay said, struggling to keep grip. The reality hit a second time around, and the tone that Cole spoke in set in deep to his thoughts. He kept trying to fight Jay, to get himself free as he closed his eyes tightly. He swiftly pulled his arms away and elbowed Jay in the gut, ending up in Jay crumbling over. "That wasn't necessary-" He grunted holding his stomach. Zane immediately grabbed at his hands. Gripping them tightly, "you don't need to hurt us Kai. We are your friends. Just tell us what's going on. We want to help, we can't if we don't know what's going on. Cmon Kai" 
     Nya continued to listen to Cole talk,sitting patiently at his side. "I felt it when I was with him too but I was wrong. That wasn't what he meant when he acts like that. I'm just his friend." he mumbled. Reaching up to rub the tears away, taking a shaky breath. "I just want to change. Just so he'd like me. I've ruined our friendship. I keep doing that, Nya" he said quietly. "I've really messed up and there's no going back."
 Suddenly Lloyd spoke, knocking on the door as he peeked into the bedroom. "Uh... K-Kai is acting weird. We don't know what to do and it's scaring me" he whispered. Staring at Nya. She turned to the boy, "he's BEEN acting weird, you're gonna have to be more specific than that." She said, raising an eyebrow. She didn't want to leave Cole feeling alone, just to be called one of Kai's temper tantrums.  "Zane doesn't know what to do.." he tried to explain. "H-He isn't breathing and he's not responding and I don't know what to do, he was just standing there" Lloyd seemed panicked. 
Cole dropped his hands to hug himself before mumbling a small "just go check on him. He needs his sister. I'll be fine" he mumbled, his gaze now fixated on the floor. "Not breathing?... " Her tone suddenly changed. She quickly looked at Cole, before running out of the room. Cole was important to her, and she didn't want to leave him alone. On the other hand, she panicked hearing that her big brother wasn't breathing. 
 As soon as she left. Cole closed the door on Lloyd. Mumbling under his breath as he went back to his bed. Finally laying down. He just wanted the day to be over with. Hugging himself tighter as he laid there.
        She ran up and out to the deck, and raced beside Zane. "What's going on!? Lloyd said he's not breathing!?" Kai continued to fight to get away from the two, now trying to get Zane off of him. The shallow breathing had turned back to gasping for air as he caught the two. "Should I get sensei!?" Jay panicked asking Zane. "I don't know what sensei can do! He can't just wack some sense into him either." Zane said. Looking at Nya, "he's having a panic attack. Just be careful he's getting physical now" he said, tilting his head to Jay. "He isn't responding to me. I don't know what to do. He's never done this before". "I've never seen him do this either!" She exclaimed, before kneeling down beside him. She looked to Zane "let him go for a minute.."  She looked back to Kai, trying to take his wrists gently. "Kai? Listen. Can you hear me? I need you to follow me okay? You have to listen." She spoke softly to him in hopes to reach him. Jay got up and ran to Wu, thinking he'd have knowledge for the situation. "SENSEI. IT'S URGENT! WE NEED YOUR HELP! NO TIME!" Jay yelled into Wu's study room. Zane let go of Kai's wrists but stayed next to Nya, just in case there was any need. Watching Jay get up and leave, he glanced at Nya. Hoping if Wu were to help, it would actually work. 
Wu came up to the door. "What? What's wrong? I thought you all were leaving? Is someone hurt?" He asked quickly. "What happened?"  "NO TIME. NO TIME! COME ON!" Jay rushed back up to see if anything had happened. Nya sat there trying to help her brother, determined to reach him. "Hey. I'm not going to leave, no one is leaving. Kai, you're safe right now-" He pushed his fist towards her to break her grip, hitting her in the face. Her hand covered the side he'd hit. She knew he'd never hurt her, but it hurt to see him so disconnected from reality. "KAI. Listen!!" She tried to grab him again, but he pushed her away in an attempt to get up and away from the group. He wanted to be without people to see him, but he didn't want to feel alone. He didn't want them to leave. He didn't want HIM to leave. Wu followed closely behind Jay, stopping when he saw the scene in front of him. "What is going on here!? What happened?" He glared at Jay. "When did this start and where is Cole and Lloyd?"