Mood

                                    

                                          
(Play song)
After telling Tonowari's parents I was pregnant it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders and that was about a week ago but....there's this feeling I've been having, deep in my chest and it makes my throat tight sometimes
I didn't know if it was just hormones but I've had this before when I lived back in the forest, when I was so overwhelmed and sad, I didn't understand why though, I was finally free from my parents, I had Tonowari who has made my life a dream come true, and his parents are finally excepting me, so why do I feel like this
"Angel, are you alright you've been starring at the sand for a while" he said as he sat next to me, breaking me out of my depressive trance
"Oh I'm fine" I said looking back down at the sand
"Are you sure? Is it the baby?" He asked getting nervous
"No Tonowari I just.....I'm fine physically the baby is fine....I just don't wanna talk about it right now" I sighed as I rested my head against his shoulder
"Okay my love" he said as he pulled me closer, using one hand to rub my little bump, he took any chance he got to do that
He always understood me and never pushed me, making sure I was always comfortable, his love overwhelmed me in a good way but right now I felt like I didn't deserve it
The tears welled up in my eyes and my lip trembled and I couldn't help but start crying
He picked me up and brought me back to our pod, he didn't say a word until he sat me down
"Baby please tell me what's wrong" he asked wiping my tears
"I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm just so sad, I feel like I'm back in the forest where I felt like nothing" I hung my head low feeling so stupid
"Is there something I can do, have I done something to make you feel like this?"
"No my love it's not you, you make me feel so loved but it's just this feeling in my chest, I don't what I'm suppose to do"
"Maybe we should go talk to mother maybe this has something to do with the pregnancy"
"Ya maybe I guess it wouldn't hurt to check"
He held me by my waist as we walked to his mother and fathers pod
"Mother we need your help" Tonowari said as he led me inside and sat me down
His father seemed worried
"What is the problem?" She asked
"She's been depressed, overwhelming sadness, does this maybe have anything to do with the pregnancy?"
She came and kneeled infront of me, placing her hand against my belly
"Your hormones are out of place, they're making you feel like this, the best thing to do is take some seaweed, it'll help maintain and balance your hormones for the rest of your pregnancy, I got like this when I was pregnant with Tonowari, it'll get better" she half smiled at me
I'm glad she was warming up to me
She went through her jars and took some seaweed out, wrapping it and handing it to me
"Thank you mother!" Tonowari smiled as he helped me stand up, we went and sat on the beach since the sun seemed to help me sometimes
He unwrapped the seaweed and handed it me
"Eat, hopefully it works" he said as he looked at me with hope
I munched on it and I didn't feel all that better but after a few minutes I felt a little better, enough to relax, I just hope it passes and I'm back to my happy self so I can enjoy this pregnancy
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Just in a sad mood and wanted to write this