You sigh sadly as you remember your time in the raft. Feeling so broken that you wanted to die, just so that it would end.
"Honestly...I don't understand what you're going through, not really, because even at my lowest moments I still had that shred of hope that it would get better. That Steve would rescue me and I'd be safe" you tell him making him look down at the floor.
"And it will get better Bucky I promise, I know it doesn't seem like it will right now but it will, there's a shred of hope. They will find a way to cure you, we can fight to get you pardoned, you have a whole life ahead of you, you deserve to live it" you continue taking his hand and squeezing it.
"Really?" He whispers uncertainty clear in his voice.
"Yes, 100% yes. You'll be able to do whatever you want, whatever makes you happy" you smile reassuringly.
"Thank you Y/N" Bucky sighs with a thankful smile.
"It's nothing, you can always talk to me about stuff, and if you think you need a break from the treatment then do that," you tell him squeezing his hand.
Bucky nods his head slightly "I'll see how this next one goes and see how I feel" Bucky smiles.
"Good, it'll all be okay I promise" you reassure him.
That weekend you held on tightly to Steve's hand as you once again made the trip out onto the grasslands. You felt incredibly nervous this time, feeling anxious for Bucky and how he was feeling.
"Hey, you okay doll?" Steve asks looking down at you.
"Yeah just nervous for him that's all, I really want it to work this time" you sigh looking back up at him.
"It will, I'm feeling good about this one" Steve smiles reassuringly.
You give him a small smile before looking back ahead. You hadn't told Steve about your conversation with Bucky a couple of days ago. You didn't feel like it was your place to, Bucky would tell him if he wanted to. As you approach you saw Bucky sitting by the fire, giving you a nervous smile when he saw you.
"How you feeling pal?" Steve asks patting Bucky on the shoulder.
"Okay I think, everyone else seems confident so hopefully that rubs off" Bucky sighs looking up at you.
"Just remember if it doesn't work this time it doesn't mean it won't in the future" you remind him gently.
"Thank you Y/N," Bucky says giving you a small but sincere smile.
"We'll be just over that ridge rooting for you," Steve tells him nodding to the ridge.
"Ready to give you a massive hug no matter the outcome" you smile.
Okoye then leads you over the ridge to the spot where you could watch. Your view was blocked slightly by the trees that surrounded the fire. But you could still see Bucky which was all that mattered.
You watch with bated breath as Ayo started saying the trigger words. You could see Bucky tensing and rocking slightly and you worry that it wasn't working.
Then it all goes quiet.
Ayo wasn't saying anything and Bucky was frozen. You grab Steve's hand as you wait to see if it worked or not. You well up when you see Ayo beckon you over.
As you approach she nods proudly before stepping away to leave the three of you alone. Bucky looks up at you and Steve tears of relief streaming down his face. He goes to say something but his voice broke and you surged forward hugging him tightly. He rests his hand on your back burying his head in your shoulder.