Chapter 14

                                    

                                          
*1 week later*
                          
It's getting closer to the concert! I can't wait anymore. I'll finally meet the guy or the guys that is the only reason I'm still here and when I meet them I'm going to thank them for that.
                          
I just want happiness in my life, but I'll probably never get that because of Jasmine. I wonder how long she will do this to me?
                          
I'm laying down in my bed. I'm staying home from school today I just can't let her hurt me anymore.
                          
I was bored so I wrote a letter:
                          
" I'm so tired of being hated. I'm tired that I cry every single day. I hate my life. I don't understand why I live? People hates me, everything I do is wrong. I hate the feeling that I probably never gonna feel happiness ever again. What should I do? I hate everything. I'm just worthless. Maybe it's true that nobody wants me here"
                          
I should be thinking about good things. Wait, there's no "good things" because they doesn't exist. I wonder when the good things starts to exist. But the question is: will my life ever be good again?
                          
I'm so lost. I want to move to another city. I want to get away from Jasmine. I want to be happy. But I can't move because my mom doesn't know anything. I'm not ready to tell her.
                          
- Honey, don't you have a test today in school? My mom asked.
                          
- No, it's tomorrow! I lied.
                          
- Have you study to it?
                          
- mom don't worry. I can everything already. I lied.
                          
I haven't study to the test today. I can't do it.
                          
I going to fail the test anyway, it's impossible to concentrate when Jasmine is around, because she does everything to destroy my school works/tests. 
                          
I laid me down in my bed and laid my head in my pillow.
                          
My mom came into the room.
                          
- Honey, you need to go to school now!
                          
- Yeah yeah mom, I said.
                          
She walked out again and closed the door.
                          
I pulled me slowly out of bed and walked to the mirror. 
                          
"Wow, I'm so ugly. Now I understand why nobody wants me, I look like fucking pig as Jasmine said. I'm not only ugly I'm fat too" I thought to myself.
                          
I walked to school. I don't want to talk to anyone today. I wanna be alone because I'm too ugly and fat to everyone.
                          
- Hi Ella! Louise said.
                          
- Hi Louise.. I said.
                          
- What's going on?
                          
- I hate myself at the moment. I'm so ugly and fat.. I said and looked down.
                          
Louise put a hand on my shoulder and said:
                          
- Don't ever say that again, because it's not true! You're not ugly, you're not fat either! So stop saying that!
                          
- Really? I asked.
                          
- I'm telling the truth, Louise said and smiled.
                          
I smiled at her and gave her a hug.
                          
- So have you study to the test?
                          
- No, I said and shook my head.
                          
- Oh, well I guess I understand why you haven't. 
                          
I nodded. I want to think about something than that stupid test.
                          
I saw Jasmine walked towards to me. She looked angry at me, I ignored it. She walked past me but I felt a push from her on my arm.
                          
- Excuse me? watch your back! You don't have to walk into me! Jasmine said.
                          
- I didn't walk into you, you walked into me! I said.
                          
- Eh no? Why're you lying?
                          
- I don't want to have this discussion with you.. I said with a shaky voice.
                          
- Are you scared? Jasmine said.
                          
- No I'm not! I lied.
                          
- What? I can't hear you! Jasmine said.
                          
I ran away. My tears streamed down my face. I hate her so much.
                          
- Yeah just run! Run home and cry in front of your mommy! Jasmine said and laughed.
                          
I ran home and rushed up to my room and laid me down on my bed.
                          
My tears streamed down my face, it won't stop. I hate this, I hate everything. I don't want to live like this anymore.
                          
Mom must wonder why I don't take friends home or why I don't hang out with friends except Louise.
                          
I want to scream that I'm not fine. I want everyone to know that I'm helpless, hopeless and lonely!
                          
This life is a nightmare. It feels like I never will get out of it. She destroys my life! She has destroyed everything have. 
                          
It's because of her I have lost hope for everything. Nothing is the same anymore... I want to die!