Chapter 36.2

                                    

                                          
In the evening, as we chatted in the dormitory, I asked all my three roommates, "Two people were talking to each other normally, suddenly one was angry. What could be the reason?"
Jennie replied, "It's likely something poked at that person's hidden pain".
Rose was pensive, "Kim Taehyung's girlfriend Jennie Kim is so intelligent".
I felt awkward. What pain?
The Minnie put her hand on my head and asked, "Lisa, what emotional problems have you encountered? Why don't you tell us so we can help analyse it for you?"
I shook my head, pretending a calmness I did not feel. "No need".
But my heart was stormy. If I was upset with Jungkook today because he poked at a hidden weakness, did that mean I was fond of him?
My blood ran cold at the thought.
If that was the case, then that would explain why I felt lost when Jungkook explained he was just kidding with me. Do I really like him?
I recalled that in the past few days, Whenever Jungkook was close to me, my heart would speed up and my brain would slow down. Whenever, he touched me, I would feel like I was singed by him. And I was always thinking about him. I had never felt this way before. It was as if this person's existence had encompassed my entire life. Even when he wasn't around, I would think about what he would be doing, or about all the things we had done together. I thought this was because he was always bullying me and this was my conditional reflex. But now it seemed like there was another reason for the way I was behaving.
There were clear indications that I, Lisa Manoban really liked Jeon Jungkook. This conclusion made me feel miserable. Oh god! Would the great Lisa Manoban finally be vanquished in the hands of Jeon Jungkook?
I thought about it carefully. There was no possibility that Jungkook may like me in return. No! Not possible! Jungkook was a very selective guy. He had countless beautiful women chasing after him. I was just some grass among the beautiful flowers. Apart from being trampled, I had no other role in this scenario. Moreover, the two of us were not at the same level. I would always be the one who was bullied. There was huge difference of social status between the two of us. If we had feelings, that is, if the bourgeoise and the proletariat had feelings for each other....yes, yes, that is certainly possible!
But the problem was that at this point only the proletariat liked the burgeoise
I gnashed my teeth in frustration. I really hated myself! If you had to like someone, why did it have to be Jungkook, a guy who exploited others as if was his God-given right?
I did some deep self reflection and self criticism, trying to figure out what about Jungkook had really attracted me. But I still could not understand why I liked him. There wasn't a single feature on his body that I liked, except that he was really handsome. But what would I do with his handsomeness? And everyone knew that this little one was the most insecure creature in the world.
So I decided to ask a few people why they liked someone.
Minnie said, "Because he is good to me".
Rose answered, "Don't ask me, I only like computer games".
Jennie replied, "Because I am terribly unlucky".
When I thought about it, I found Jennie's replay the most appropriate . Why do I like you? Because I am terribly unlucky! That's why I am still entangled with you.
But I was even more depressed once I figured out the answer. Because the problem of bad luck was not something I could remedy. In other words, I don't like the idea of liking Jungkook but there was nothing I could do to rectify that. It was a very sad realization.