letters to Minji

                                    

                                          
May 23, 2023
To Minji
It's 4am and I haven't been able to sleep knowing what I did to you. I guess I didn't realize what I was doing until recently. I was wrong and you should hate me. You never told me what you feel for me, but is it wrong to assume you liked me more than a friend? I want to be friends again. I'm sorry I really am, but you said mean things as well. I hope we can talk soon. I am writing to you because sending it over text doesn't seem right or sincere. So I'll just leave it on your front porch. I don't want to wake up you or Mr. Kim. 
Hanni
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That was the first note I received. I couldn't sleep either. I saw her pass by my window that night putting it on the porch. I read it, but I didn't want to talk to her. It hurts knowing someone you liked used you whether they realized they were doing it or not. 
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May 24, 2023
To Minji
Hey I don't know if you received my last letter. I also texted you to see if you got it, but you didn't respond. I know I hurt you Minji and I'm sorry, but I need you to know that it wasn't intentional. I would never intentionally hurt you. You are my friend whether you hate it or love it. I care about you and I meant it and if you're somewhere sad right now that breaks my heart. Please Minji can we at least talk in person once.
Hanni 
-
I almost went to her house after that note, but then I realized what is the point of reconciliation because I'm going to leave eventually and we're never going to see each other again. Minji is going to come back and it's going to be like I never existed. I will go back and remember everything because I don't  have a Hanni in the past. I have no one. 
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May 25, 2023
To Minji
I get it you hate me. Please Minji I'll do anything for you to forgive me! We can watch those weird old movies that you like so much! We can do whatever you want just please talk to me. I'm going crazy! I don't want you to think I never cared for you because that's not true. We've only known each other for a short time but you have grown to be such an important person in my life. I understand if you want to go home, but can we at least talk first. 
Hanni
-
That's what did it for me. I owe it to myself to get closure before I go home. I deserve to be able to move on. That's why I'm outside of Hanni's house right now knocking on the door. Who opened it though wasn't Hanni, but her mom.
"Oh Mrs. Pham? Is Hanni home?" Before the older lady could even respond Hanni was knocking her mother out of the way and pulling me into her embrace. I tried to fight it, embarrassed that her mother was right there, but I couldn't help but melt into the smaller girl's arms. 
"Jesus Hanni, you act like she just got back from war!" I look over and see Mrs. Pham rolled her eyes walking back into the house. Hanni finally removes herself from me and looks up with wide eyes.
"Did you get my letters?" The smaller girl looked really nervous and scared and it hurts to see her like this. Yes, she did hurt me, but I don't want her to suffer either. 
"I did." Hanni nodded as she stepped back holding her hands behind her back as she rocked back and forth on the heels of her feet. 
"Minji I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I've never been more sorry about something in my life." I sigh holding her shoulders trying to keep in her place because it's starting to stress me out. 
"It's okay Hanni, you've apologized like ten times. I just wanted to tell you that I forgive you and that I'm going to try and find a way home again. Also I'm sorry too—it was too much. I shouldn't have gone that far." Hanni looks shocked. I don't know why she is though.
"If that's what you want." It's not what I want, but it's what needs to happen. I want to go home so Hanni can be happy. "Minji I want us to be friends again. Like we were before." I laugh a little bit because before we would constantly bicker and fight.
"What when you were constantly harassing me and I was mean to you." Hanni little frown turned upward into a smile as she playfully hit my shoulder.
"Jesus Christ minji shut up!" Hanni groans as I laugh. It feels nice to be like this with her again. 
"Can I ask you a question?" I need to know this before I go for good. 
"Yeah what?" Hanni looked up at me with a resided eyebrow looking slightly confused.
"Did you ever like me? Like more than a friend?" I looked at the ground too scared to see the smaller girl's face. 
"I thought so at first, but as we continued I realized that the reason I stopped talking to you as much when we were making out was because when you talked I would remember it wasn't Minji. I'm sorry—I don't have an excuse, I just want you to know I'm really sorry." I sigh as I keep looking at the ground. I knew that would be the answer, but still nothing could prepare from the sting in my chest. However, you can't help who you fall in love with and clearly Hanni loves future Minji more than I could possibly comprehend. 
"It's okay Hanni really, I just had to know." Hanni again wrapped her arms around my shoulder pulling me into a quick hug before she let go. 
"You'll find your forever person I know you will. You may be a mean arrogant bitch, but you also can be kind and caring and sweet." She winked at the last word making me remember that time she called me sweet when I held her hand. 
"I hope you and Minji work out. You are an annoying clingy brat, but I'm sure she's probably into that." I smirk this time avoiding Hanni's punch to my shoulder and run down the street with a screaming Hanni following behind me. 
"MINJI GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE SO I CAN KICK IT!" I laugh as I continue to run. The short girl trying to keep up behind me.
"ONLY IF YOU CAN CATCH ME SHORTY!" I can hear Hanni's laughter behind me mixing in with mine. Maybe this is for the best. 
I deserve to be happy and so does Hanni and the only way we can both be happy is if I go home. I need to start living my life and stop living in this fantasy world.
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A/N
Hey!!
I don't know why but I just wanted to remind everyone of some things because I just feel like it would be more understandable. Haerin's character in this story is very complicated because she's not only autistic but she doesn't have many life experiences. She was with Dani her whole entire life so when she met Minji she went through many confusing emotions because she has never liked someone before. It's hard for Haerin to differentiate between different loves. That will play a bigger roll in the upcoming chapters.
Also sorry I did mess up the dates but I fixed them. Lol