Twenty three

                                    

                                          
May 17, 2023
I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I don't know when things shifted for me, but I can't stop thinking about that tiny annoying brat that is around me 24/7. Was it when we hugged? Was it when we watched that movie and she fell asleep on me? Was it a week ago when she held me as we slept? I feel like everytime I'm around her now I'm going to explode into a million pieces and she's starting to realize something is up. 
Two days ago was the last day of school before summer break and she asked if I wanted to go swimming in a lake at the edge of town and of course I said yes because I can't refuse her anything anymore. So we went and there was barely anyone around so Hanni was running around like a mad man and if it was anyone else acting like that I would have been embarrassed and agitated, but I wasn't. I genuinely enjoyed watching her have fun. Then the most embarrassing thing that ever happened in my life happened.
"Minji can you put sunscreen on my shoulders and back?" Huh? I look up from my chair placed on the rocky sand in front of the lake and see Hanni pull the shirt she was wearing over her head tossing it at her chair. I immediately directed my head towards the lake so I didn't have to see the half naked girl next to me. God damn it I should have thought about this. Of course she would wear a swimsuit—we are at a lake. 
"Can't you do it yourself?" I try my best to keep my eyes on the calm serene water in front of me, but I can't help but to spare a couple glances in her direction. Next thing I know a bottle of sunscreen was being shoved in my face. 
"If I could do it myself I wouldn't have asked." I can't do this. I can't touch her bare back. She continues to wave the bottle of sunscreen in my face. Jesus Christ she isn't going to stop. I yank the sunscreen out of her hands looking up at her. "Well?" She looks down at me with a smirk.
"What?" 
"Well are you going to get up or should I sit on your lap for you to do it?" She cocked an eyebrow at me in a playful manner. Oh no definitely not the second option! I jumped out of the chair—I'm pretty sure this is the fastest I've ever moved. The smaller girl turned around signaling me to begin. It's okay Minji, it's just a back. You've seen backs before. I quickly pour some sunscreen on my hands, throwing the bottle somewhere behind me. I don't know where it went. I gently start rubbing into her shoulders, scared to put too much force into it.
"Does it hurt?" Hanni's shoulders shook a little bit then I heard giggles leave her mouth. What? Was it what I said? 
"Minji you're putting sunscreen on my back, not performing surgery. You can just rub it in. You don't have to think that hard." I nod not replying because I don't think I'd be able to form words while looking at her smooth soft skin. I start to rub it more into her shoulders feeling how her shoulder blades flinch a bit every time I go over them. Eventually I start going lower to the dip of her back massaging it into her sides. Then finally I reached her lower back pressing into her hips probably more than I should have, but I couldn't help myself. I let my hands linger for a little while not wanting to take them off her soft skin—but alas Hanni turned around with a weird expression on her face. 
"What's wrong? Are you sure it didn't hurt?" Hanni coughs weirdly looking away from me as she grabs the sunscreen and starts applying it on the rest of her body. "Hanni?" She looked over and gave me an awkward smile. What's her deal? 
"No I uh it was fine. Thanks." I nod frowning while I plop down back in the chair. Maybe I should put sunscreen on as well. I reached for the bottle that Hanni placed on her bag and as soon as I did the smaller girl was reaching as well. Our hands touched briefly before she yanked hers away like she was struck by electricity. "I'm gonna well I think I—I'm going swimming bye." Hanni groans as she walks towards the lake, submerging herself under the water. Why is she acting like this?