Ch. 104 - Absences That Cannot be Filled

                                    

                                          
"You're lucky I'm even letting you do this," Julie said, taking one of my hands in hers, having to lean up to reach me, seated up in the wagon as I was. 
She squeezed my hand gently in a comforting sort of way, and suddenly it felt like everything would be ok. My mind briefly wondered if this was what it felt like to have a mother. It must be, because it was so instinctual that I thought it, so natural and so comfortable. I didn't have time to dwell on it, though. Very much like any mother, she continued on, prattling in a doting way that made me feel like she had everything under control.
"Your wounds are still very sensitive," she continued. "But I shouldn't have to tell you that, should I?"
It was rhetorical, I knew that. And yet I smiled anyway. Before I could say anything, her husband piped up. "You heard what the doctor said, didn't you, Jules? Of course she doesn't. She doesn't let others worry over her, so she probably hasn't internalized the idea of staying put and letting wounds heal just yet."
"Ouch," I said with a laugh, even as Julie sent a pointed and accusatory look towards her husband - a look I sent Levi often. Oh yes, I knew that look, because I was well-versed in it. It was the look that told him that she didn't appreciate that comment and would bring it up in conversation later.
"I've packed medicine for you, and bandages too," she said to me, still glaring away at her husband. With her point across, she returned her gaze to me, so caring and affectionate it was hard to believe she was just glaring daggers at her husband. "Try not to move around too much in the carriage, and please, please use the crutch I've given you. Oh, and there would be doctors at your base back home, right? Please, tell me you'll go and see them regularly."
"I will," I assured her. "Don't worry, I will."
"You really shouldn't be going anywhere right now," her husband Samuel noted. "But in just living here, I've grown to know you soldier-types. You're stubborn to hell."
"I might've heard that said about me once or twice," I admitted. "I'm no stranger to people telling me that I'm doing things that I'm not supposed to. I just don't know how I'll ever repay you, either of you."
"You don't need to," Julie said with a laugh. "Don't you dare feel obligated to us for making sure you lived. Just be sure to live a good life, ok?"
"I will," I said, and for a moment I might've believed it. It'd certainly be a tough go of things to try and live a good, long life after all of this, but I would try. I had to. I wanted to. Her words were nearly enough to fool me into truly believing it.
Carefully, and with much care, Samuel set the bundle of my personal effects – few though they were – next to me in the carriage. There was my gear, my clothes that Reyes had gotten me, Levi's cloak, and the pile of belts that were still tangled, along with some provisions, water, and the medical supplies Julie had mentioned.
Everything had been washed. Julie had some kind of miracle formula that removed all the blood and muck from the clothing, though perhaps that just came with the experience of having rowdy children to clean up after. But at any rate, she'd even done some light patch-ups for the articles that had rips and tears, aided by one of her two boys.
I'd been changed from that nightgown to a looser dress that Julie had given to me. It was large on me, and had needed to be tied to a cinch at my waist with a strip of thin fabric. It was white, floral, and very pretty. Only a few pink flowers dappled the dress; it wasn't overdone, and I found that I rather liked it... and that I didn't mind stealing it away from her.
It was admittedly a strange look when matched with my uniform boots with my knife hidden inside, but I was grateful for just the small blessing to have clean clothes on my back.