Once upon a time, there was a working mother. She was also a wife, a friend, a daughter, a sister, and a lover of sleep and all things chocolate. That woman is me! My name is Emma. I am 21 ( I've been 21 for the last decade, and I don't intend on changing that. If you challenge me on this, I will fight you to the death.) I have been married to the love of my life and the Bain of my existence Adam for seven years nearly, and we have a beautiful son Roman together.
My Adam is an HGV driver and works full-time nights, which is a blessing and a curse. Because I miss a warm body at night, but also I love having the bed to myself. I was not fighting for the duvet or cold spots. Ok, I take it back. It's fucking fantastic. But it does mean sexy time isn't frequent. But that's not a problem with BOB ( Battery Operated Boyfriend). I can sort myself out.
Roman, my/our beautiful boy, is our everything. He's smart, sassy ( I am genuinely sorry to the entire human population - he gets that from me), kind-hearted, curious and all around, generally a good kid. But what five-year-olds don't have their moments? What five-year-old goes from being an angel to becoming a world-class dictator with a temper to rival any Tasmanian devil? Or become a tiny terrorist? But you can't stay mad because they are a little human, your tiny human, that's half you. But then I remember, I carried him for nine months, had horrible heartburn, gained a humongous amount of weight, didn't see my feet for months, gained stretch marks, and still can't fully control my bladder. For him to come out looking the double of his father. Fucking charming! I can hold a grudge, and I will eat that tube of ice cream, that I bought for you Ro, and I wont feel bad about it. Not for one second.
So, this is my little family. As I like to say, we are so dysfunctional that we are functional. Welcome. I hope you enjoy these little tit bits and stories. You are in for a rollercoaster. You will have tears, side splitting laughter and possibly a lot of OMG moments. And as you can tell, I'm not shy of swearing or using profanities. I can't help it, I pretty much swear every time I open my mouth ( how very uncouth of me) so I'm going to apologise now and it will be the only time I do.
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Pass me the coffee or wine!
HumorA very real portrayal of being a working mother and wife, the trials and tribulations, the hilarious day to day. If your easily offended this may not be for you, I write how I speak and say things. Just imagine a thick, broad Yorkshire accent. I swe...
