Chasing you (part 11)

                                    

                                          
A.N.
Quick question, did you get a notification for this chapter? And if you remember did you get one from the last one? Because I had troubles posting chapter 10 like 2 weeks ago so I was wondering if anyone got the notification or they just happened to stumble across the chapter. 


Forth's P.O.V. 
I woke up startled when I felt someone moving beside me. I looked around feeling a little disoriented. I wasn't in my room I was still in Beams room and he was the one hugging me. I let out a sigh wrapping my arms around me. I tried to leave a few times when I started getting tired. But he told me to stay for a little while longer and I just couldn't say no. I tried to stay awake with him but I ended falling asleep first I guess. He didn't kick me out though so we are good. I looked at his peaceful face for a second before drifting off to sleep again. Today was a good day and we are making progress. Even if it hurt after the kiss when he said to forget about it.
I woke up startled for the second time. It was because Beam was moving. But it felt like he was trying to fight me. I guess he was startled because we were cuddling. I mean he started it but he didn't know that. I looked at him groggily.
"Why were you hugging me?" He said and I looked at him confused sitting down on the bed. He was already at the opposite side.
"You were the one who cuddled me last night after I fell asleep. You seemed comfortable so I didn't move you." I explained to him.
"Ok." He said standing up from the bed and he looked troubled. I sighed but didn't say anything. He came back a few seconds later. "I think you should leave." He said not looking at me in the eyes.
"Bee..." I felt hurt. I didn't even know what to say.
"I'm sorry Forth but this shouldn't be happening. I don't think we are on the same page." He said and I looked down.
"Fine keep being like this." I said getting up from his bed mad. What does he think? That my heart is made of stone? He hurts me when he acts like this. But I don't think he even realizes it. I grabbed my things and left. I need to clear my mind. 
Once I was back at my apartment I sighed. I'm starting to wonder if this is all in vain. My heart hurts. But I knew it wouldn't be easy when I started. He's in denial even if I'm certain he feels the same. He's stubborn and I'm not expecting him to admit his feelings any time soon.
Even if I was mad and a little hurt I still wasn't giving up. I didn't text him for most of the day. But before I went to sleep I sent him a goodnight message. Of course he didn't reply but I was expecting that much. The next day I continued as normal and when lunch time came I went to meds. I knew he wasn't coming to engineering like he was supposed to after yesterday. I decided to buy lunch only for myself this time. I had a feeling he won't show up. So I decided that if he did show up I would offer to buy him something. I was right though. Fifteen minutes after lunch had started I knew he wasn't coming. I still sat there and ate like nothing happened. We are back to square one I guess. But I know he must know I'm here. He did last time. So I'm showing him I'm not giving up easily.
For the next two days I kept showing up at meds for lunch. To my surprise I haven't been able to see Beam. Last time if he didn't show up one day he'll show the next one. As if he was guilty because last time I was here I was alone because of him. But it's been three days today is the fourth and there's not a trace of him. I sighed walking in again and buying only one set of lunch. This is starting to take a turn for the worst. I guess if tomorrow that is the end of the week he doesn't show up I'll try to see him some other way. If that fails then I won't keep pushing him. Because then it won't be about giving up I can't and I won't force him. Before this he was showing signs he liked me back not only by his kiss. But by showing up and slowly but surely becoming closer. Now he just disappeared. If he doesn't want anything with me I will respect his decision. He didn't show up again today either. I left with a heavy heart.
Today was friday and I was in a bad mood. Being ignored for a whole week is no fun. Park and Lam keep nagging me to let him go. I told them I already planned on that I just wanted to be a hundred percent certain this was over. I did my usual routine of buying food and a drink and sitting on Beams table. I started scrolling through my phone while slowly eating. I wasn't even that hungry. Suddenly I felt someone sit beside me. I looked up surprised to see Phana beside me and Kit was sitting in front of me.
"How is he doing?" I asked and Phana sighed.
"He's been ignoring you all week and you still want to know if he's good." Said Phana shaking his head.
"Of course those are two separate matters." I said.
"He's fine, but I don't think he's coming any time soon." Said Phana and I nodded.
"Don't worry it's the last time I'll come. I knew he wouldn't come I just... well I hoped he would." I said sincerely.
"We are sorry about that Forth. But he's just too stubborn." Said Kit joining the conversation.
"No worries I already knew. But one can hope right? Don't worry I don't think you'll be seeing me around anymore. Just tell him if he ever needs me I'll be there for him." I said and they both nodded.
"Well I have to go Ming is picking me up. Good luck Forth." Said Kit standing up.
"Thank you." I said and turned to look at Pha who was still sitting in front of me.
"Look I'm pretty sure he has feelings for you. He's just scared. I don't know why. He always does this even if he doesn't realize. When the unexpected comes he builds up walls to protect himself even if it hurts him." Said Phana and I nodded.
"I know and I was willing to work on that slowly when he was at least letting me stay beside him. But now he has completely shut me out. No messages, no calls, he doesn't even show up even if I'm just patiently waiting for him. There's only so much I can do. I won't force him by any means. If he wants this too he needs to at the very least try with me." I said and he nodded thoughtfully.
"I get it. I was hoping you two made it. But we'll see what happens. Take care!" Said Phana standing up and patting my back before leaving. I sighed looking at the plate of food in front of me. I wasn't even hungry anymore. There was just a few minutes left of lunch and I knew he wasn't gonna show up this late. I picked everything up and left with a heavy heart.

A.N.
Hello everyone! I almost forgot but it's been 3 years since I came back to Wattpad to start writing about Forth and Beam. It's been a long journey so thank you for joining me! Let's see what this year brings! Hopefully lots of new stories! Anyways happy holidays even if they are already over! As always stay safe and I will see you guys on the next chapter.